


The Capering Damned

by embersdevine



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Government Experimentation, M/M, Top Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embersdevine/pseuds/embersdevine
Summary: It's always been this way in the Division; working for a top secret agency isn't the worst thing, Jensen thought.  Until he got to know Jared.  All of a sudden, this way of life doesn't seem right at all.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 17
Kudos: 135





	The Capering Damned

**Author's Note:**

> For the J2 Reverse Bang. A big thanks to the artist, txdora, who makes rather amazing works. I hadn't planned on writing a fic for the bang but when I saw the prompt, I snatched at the chance. Another thanks to the beta, who had to work through this huge monster of a story, Ilikaicalie.

  
  
  
  
  


It’s a simple mission.

  
  


That’s what Hodge says, anyway. From experience, Jensen approaches every situation with a fair amount of caution nowadays. While it looks easy from the outset, he’s still having Aycox scan the perimeters for any other signs of life and he’s got the tech operations leader at homebase running an extra security check. 

  
  


Both he and Hodge are perched on the ledge of a bodega, the random drunk staggering by every now and then. Other than that, it’s a dead night for this part of town. Hodge keeps an eye on the apartment complex across the street, quietly giving Jensen updates every time there’s any movement. 

  
  


“Easy enough on paper,” Hodge grumbles, still keeping his scanner directed at the target’s window. “Coulda been in and out by now.”

  
  


“We’ll see,” Jensen says. He checks the dimmed screen on his forearm for any updates from the tech operations team. “We need to be sure.”

  
  


Hodge gives him a side glance. It’s the type that has a spark of understanding but there’s some pity mingled in there and he’s not interested. Wished he didn’t look at him to see it. Hodge sighs. “What happened to Tracey wasn’t your---”

  
  


“We’re on task,” he reminds him, “Save it for liberty.”

  
  


“Liberty isn’t for another…” Hodge cuts his eyes to his screen on the inside of his wrist, taps it and offers him a dry look, “thirty two hours, man. And we both know you lock yourself up during liberty.”

  
  


“On task.”

  
  


It’s enough to get Hodge to quiet about it and they return to their surveillance. Liberty, or their downtime, is given sparingly throughout the month. And it’s considered sacred by some members of his team, as they’ve been deployed more frequently lately. In the past year, they’ve been given nine assignments, which means they’ve probably been promoted as the Go-To team for the higher-ups. 

  
  


Jensen’s team usually runs the support and back up to others, which they’ve never had a problem with. However, ten months ago, their standing within the Division changed. Ian Tracey, Team 013’s leader, had been killed by insurgents. Since then, Tracey’s team had been either absorbed into others or given assignments within the Division to keep them busy. Team 013 is no more. Something that could easily happen with Jensen’s team. 

  
  


There are usually five members to each team. As team leader of 026, Jensen had put in an open request for more room on his own for any of Tracey’s team to be transfered. Only one was allowed and that had been Aldis Hodge. 

  
  


With the possibility of another team leader being eliminated and death always so close in their line of work, Jensen finds himself wondering about his sniper sometimes. Hodge approaches their lives with a sense of complacency; an easygoing attitude, despite his displacement and loss. Jensen’s never lost anyone from his team, however he’s seen enough death. But Aldis Hodge doesn’t seem to care too much about it; caution means almost nothing to him. Jensen thinks it’s a sign of something else going on in his head. 

  
  


Ian Tracey isn’t the first to die in their line of work. And he won’t be the last. Jensen wonders if they're on borrowed time. All he can do is push up their deadlines before the reaper finally catches up. 

  
  


_ “026. We have finished our second security check,” _ a voice over the comms says. Jensen can’t help the instinctive reaction to straighten his back and pull up his shoulders. After a moment, he feels almost exposed at the reaction and clears his throat. But the voice continues,  _ “Careful of any manual traps, as our sweeps only will disable the ones running through frequency.” _

  
  


“Thanks, Padalecki. Shut them down in T minus two minutes.”

  
  


_ “Got it.” _

  
  


When he turns his attention to Hodge, his team member is looking at him with some amusement. Jensen narrows his eyes. “What?”

  
  


“Yikes,” Hodge hisses, shaking his head. He brings a finger to the comm in his head, turning it off for a brief few moments to say, “You still carrying the torch for that guy?”

  
  


With barely concealed panic, Jensen does the same to his own comm and glares. “We are  _ on task _ .”

  
  


“Uh huh…” Hodge turns his comm back on. 

  
  


When Jensen turns his on too, he clears his throat. “Aycox, you in position?”

  
  


_ “In the west fire escape but I might be late to the party. Couple of insurgents came out for a smoke.” _

  
  


“That’s fine. Penikett?”

  
  


_ “Eastend. Just waiting on your call.” _

  
  


“Ramdeen?”

  
  


_ “South hallway.” _

  
  


He stands, rolling his right shoulder and begins backing away from the ledge. He throws an expectant look towards Hodge. “Cover Ramdeen when she comes in through the front door. They’ll be too shocked when I bust through the window.”

  
  


Hodge nods an affirmative and raises his rifle. “Target is in the west bedroom still. Two insurgents with him.”

  
  


“Okay. Padalecki, how’s that count down?”

  
  


_ “T minus fifteen seconds.” _

  
  


Jensen breathes in, eyes set on the window. The body armor is enough to keep him from getting roughed up too much. He had foregone the headgear, despite protocol. But he wants full visibility when capturing the target; if he mistakes one insurgent for who they came for because he can’t see well, he’ll probably get a reprimand. The target is too valuable, apparently, and Director Smith had stressed the importance of securing the individual.

  
  


Get the target. The rest of the insurgents can either be secured for questioning or eliminated. 

  
  


“Ready?”

  
  


“Yep,” Jensen answers. 

  
  


_ “Happy hunting,” _ comes the murmur over the comms. Padalecki. Jensen’s attempting not to let the smirk on his face show. Hodge will see it, only adding more fuel to the fire. He clears his throat, bounces on his heels. 

  
  


In five seconds, Jensen’s leaping off the roof of the bodega, using the momentum from the motion, pushing him through the targeted window. The sound of glass shattering fills the room and then there’s shouting. He’s rolling on a hardwood floor and can already feel the gunfire hit the force field that coats him. A body hits the floor before he can stand and he assumes that’s Hodge from across the street. 

  
  


Distantly, he’s aware the front door has been knocked open. As per the plan, Ramdeen is supposed to be first and Penikett is coming in through the other way. Aycox is going to meet him in the bedroom, where their target is. Jensen’s the diversion as the rest of his team files into the apartment. 

  
  


Whatever explosive devices are in the room have been deactivated, thanks to Padalecki and his team at the base. Jensen isn’t one to call it but Hodge is probably right; they have this one in the bag. 

  
  


Easily, Jensen generates enough of his force field to push one of the insurgents across the room, successfully knocking them out. At his right, Penikett and Ramdeem are taking care of the three other insurgents within the main room of the apartment. 

  
  


“Acquiring the target,” he tells them and they offer grunts in response, still engaged in combat. 

  
  


Jensen takes off for the bedroom. The apartment complex is already in a shady part of town but the place is torn up. Almost no furniture, ripped wallpaper and paint peeling off the doors. He’s sure this had been a temporary hideout before they uncovered the target’s whereabouts. 

  
  


Knocking the bedroom door down, he stops short at what confronts him. It’s a kid. Probably no older than seventeen, messy blond hair and oversized raggedy clothes. Two bodies lay on the floor, next to Aycox, who’s looking rather perplexed. Jensen assumes she came, got the two guarding the target but froze when she saw what is in the kid’s hands. 

  
  


It’s a switch. Jensen’s been doing this long enough to know there’s an explosive somewhere in the apartment and it’s going to level the fourth floor. By his guess, there’s a ten second delay before it’ll go off if it’s activated. An old school type of bomb. He’s more used to seeing the sonic wave ones but he supposes the insurgents didn’t have much time to throw this together. 

  
  


But Padalecki’s team should have been able to take care of this. They should have seen this in their sweep with the drones or  _ something _ . Jensen breathes in. Of course this mission had to go sideways.

  
  


“Hey…” Jensen says, taking one step into the bedroom. The kid flinches and takes a step back, holding the switch up. He raises his hands. “We’re not here to hurt you. But you do need to come with us.”

  
  


“I don’t wanna hurt anyone,” says the kid, shakily. He glances between Jensen and Aycox. “But you hurt them. They were my friends---”

  
  


“Listen, kid,” Aycox takes a step over one of the bodies. It moans and Jensen’s slightly surprised by her self control; generally she doesn’t leave survivors unless ordered. “You press that button---everyone dies. Some of your friends can still make it. But only if you give it over.”

  
  


“No,” the kid shakes his head and, despite the darkness, Jensen can see tear streaks down his face. “No, no---I  _ know _ who you are. You kill people! You kill and kill---”

  
  


“Hey, hey,” Jensen snaps his fingers, jolting the kid to silence. “It’s okay. No killing tonight. See? Your friends are okay.”

  
  


“I  _ know _ you killed them out there,” the kid raises the switch again, thumb hovering over the button. “Why don’t you leave us alone?”

  
  


“You got mixed up in the wrong crowd, buddy,” Aycox says and he really wishes she hadn’t.

  
  


“Doesn’t matter. You won’t take me too,” and the kid presses the button. 

  
  


_ Dammit. _

  
  


“Shit!” Aycox exclaims. “Ackles, go! I got the kid.”

  
  


“Even you can’t survive,” Jensen grabs the kid’s arm, he immediately begins to struggle. Over the comms, “I need you guys outta the building  _ now _ !”

  
  


He hears Aycox shout and nearly gets decked in the face himself when he turns to see one of the insurgents, who had been previously on the floor, coming for him. Jensen musters enough of his forcefield to push the aggressor away but it also has the kid skidding across the room too. He glances between Aycox and the target. The kid is already rushing for the other insurgent and they’re out the door. 

  
  


Jensen takes hold of Aycox, holding her close as they make the leap out the window. Two seconds later, there’s a deafening explosion and both Jensen and Aycox are surrounded by flying debris, bouncing off his shielding. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“Where is he?” shouts Jensen. 

  
  


Storming through the tech operations offices, Jensen finds himself staring at about fifteen faces peering over their computers and stations, only to quickly look back, appearing busier than before. He grunts, narrowing his eyes as he scans the room. 

  
  


Padalecki’s station is usually at the far right corner; he gets the most space, as he’s the lead for most of the department’s affairs. And right now, it’s empty. Another bout of frustration wells up in his chest and he grits his teeth to keep from shouting at the closest person sitting at their station. 

  
  


Jared Padalecki is known for rising through the ranks rather quickly about the same time Jensen had been. One of the young bloods that had enough competency to take control. He deals with the A-Teams personally, while the other low rankers in the tech department deal with other teams on less important missions. A few months ago, after Team 013’s disbandment, Jensen’s team now has the wildly popular Padalecki for support at the base. 

  
  


But, at this moment, Jensen wants someone to blame for their mission’s failure, and remote controlled bombs happen to be tech operations’ area of expertise. Padalecki will probably not get flack for it. Hell, Jensen knows his team won’t get much shit for it either---but this also means Director Smith will have this hanging over his head. Just like when Team 013 got hit because his team was too late to get there. 

  
  


“If someone doesn’t tell me where Padalecki is right now---”

  
  


“You’re gonna start smashing stuff?” 

  
  


It comes from behind him and he whirls around to find the very man he had been demanding. He’s still walking from the automatic doorway, two cups of coffee in his hands and looking bemused by Jensen’s presence. Shaggy hair, casual attire and a smirk on his lips. And Jensen hates how wildly attracted he is to this man. 

  
  


“Explain to me what happened out there,” he bites out. 

  
  


Padalecki breezes right past him, shrugging his shoulders. “Read about it in my report.”

  
  


Following him to his station, Jensen invades his space. Padalecki doesn’t seem fazed by it, simply setting down the cups near one of the several keyboards and begins booting up a screen and sitting down. “No, you’re gonna tell me right the fuck now.”

  
  


“Look, Ackles,” a sigh, “I managed to delay the detonation long enough for you guys to get out but that’s  _ only _ because of the scrambling tech in your suits.”

  
  


“So you could have stopped the explosion,” Jensen concludes. “We could have gotten the target outta there before---”

  
  


“The bomb wasn’t something we could have deactivated until someone pressed the button. It was a crude device that was probably wrapped up in some C4 and a jumble of wires.”

  
  


“Except you could have held it off and told us how to deactivate it. Hell, I coulda found it and created a barrier for it---”

  
  


“Don’t blame me for your own mistake,” Padalecki says cooly and he quiets. “You made the choice of leaving the target behind. I could barely figure out what it was---you didn’t inform homebase. I had to find out through my system---you’re lucky I caught it before it went off.”

  
  


Jensen stares blankly at the man in the office chair, staring up at him with a neutral expression. He wants to be pissed but he’s rather shocked. Padalecki’s known for his playful nature, despite their line of work but this is a whole new version he’s been introduced to. He wonders if Tracey ever got this treatment before Jensen’s team came into the picture. 

  
  


Padalecki’s sighing and turning back to a screen. “You’re Smith’s golden boy, Ackles. I know you’re mad about losing the target but we both know it’s not gonna come back to you like it would anyone else. Your team is still okay and you’re alive.”

  
  


“Whatever.”

  
  


Jensen turns to go, swallowing down any other words he might say. Something bumps against his arm and he glances back to see a paper coffee cup there, held by a large hand. He frowns at him. Padalecki offers another shrug and then a smirk. That damn smirk. Jensen ignores the twist in his stomach.

  
  


“I know you have a report due by the morning too,” Padalecki explains. “Figured you’d stop by to yell at me. You always find a reason to come by after your missions anyway. Black coffee with one sugar, right?”

  
  


Mutely, he takes the coffee. He’s a grown man but somehow that’s not stopping the warmth in his face. And he’s grateful Padalecki’s staring back at the computer not to see it. 

  
  


“So, you’re just gonna call me out like that?”

  
  


“For the mission or the coffee?” Padalecki throws another smirk over his shoulder then his attention returns to the screen. “Don’t stay up too late, Ackles. You guys don’t have liberty for another day.”

  
  


“Right…” and Jensen takes his leave, ignoring the stares from others in the tech room.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The chain of command in the division is steep. Generally, there would be a CO for the overall base but since he joined ten years ago, it’s always been the same people for the program. And the same people hanging around the program like flies. 

  
  


Jensen waits outside Director Samantha Smith’s office, watching through the glass as she speaks to the two men inside. Congressman Benedict and CEO of Washway, Inc. Mr. Collins are sitting down in her office, more than likely discussing terms of whatever assignment or direction they want for the program. Benedict has deeper ties than most representatives when it comes to getting the GEN division funding. Director Smith keeps him close. As for Collins, well, Jensen has his own thoughts about that. 

  
  


Smith sees him through the glass and waves for him to come inside. The other two males glance over their shoulders, sharing equally polite smiles that look more mocking than anything. Jensen is reminded he has no desire for a job further up the command than he already has. Especially if he would ever have to deal with political dealings. 

  
  


Opening the door holding a hard copy of his report, Jensen offers a curt nod of acknowledgement to the men and then to Director Smith. “Good morning. I’m only here to hand in my report, ma’am.”

  
  


“Of course, thank you, Ackles.” Smith takes it from him and it’s left on the top of her desk, among other various papers. For a brief moment, he wonders if Padalecki beat him to it. “We were just discussing how we should proceed. After last night.”

  
  


So he’d been right. She’s going to use this against him. While he has a deep respect for his commanding officer, he knows how she works. His team’s liberty might be pushed off to accommodate whatever she has in mind. Or she’ll bump them down from the top teams for a couple months. Not that his team would care; if anything, they’d be happy to have more downtime at the base but his pride would hurt too much. Not that he can do anything about it. 

  
  


“Yes, we heard the intended target slipped your grasp,” Congressman Benedict mentions. “It’s a shame.”

  
  


“Good news for you though, Ackles.” Collins is grinning and Jensen cuts his eyes at Smith to gauge what exactly he walked into, “My men were able to capture some sightings of the target. Looks like he survived after all.”

  
  


Jensen’s not sure how he feels about that. He had been given grainy photographs of the target before the mission but he had no idea how young he was. Surely they all knew that and decided to withhold that information. It’s not his job to know the full details but if they want this kid, it means they know something about him. 

  
  


But he doesn’t ask questions. He may be able to think for himself, judge quietly, however it’s not within his ability to voice his opinions on the matters. He’s had to go through a lot of shitty assignments and last night won’t be the last. 

  
  


“Is that so?” Jensen replies in a monotone, keeping his expression tight. “Good to hear.”

  
  


“When we get more information on his whereabouts, we’ll send your team out again. Call it a second chance,” Smith tells him. 

  
  


Jensen turns his attention to her, offering a small nod. Collins speaks up again. 

  
  


“Maybe we can work out a deal this time. I can send some of my guys with your team, Director. Just to make sure things don’t go...awry.”

  
  


“We’ll consider it. Thank you, Ackles. That will be all.”

  
  


Another nod. “Ma’am.”

  
  


He leaves, trying his best not to cut his eyes dangerously at the businessman. Collins has been attempting to weasel his way into the program for years and he’s getting closer. He’s made several deals with Director Smith in that time. He runs his own black ops division; an independent contractor that works closely with the government. Specifically, the division. He’s sometimes able to get the division to send out some gens with his own people on assignments for special interests. Jensen knows; he’s had to go on some of those himself. 

  
  


As he leaves the main offices, he offers a polite nod to Assistant Director Lisa Berry. Second in command. She returns the gesture but continues on her way to her own office silently, holding a folder close to her side. Rumor has it, she had been a former lieutenant in the Navy. Had her own ship and everything. Now she’s stuck at a desk. But Jensen’s never asked. 

  
  


He continues on his way. Checks in with some of his team members. Ramdeen is excited for liberty in particular, says she’s going to enjoy the five day vacation by visiting Seattle. With the proper escorts, of course. They’re not exactly allowed to leave base for their freetime without proper permission and surveillance but that’s not stopping her. Aycox and Hodge say they’re going to spend it on base; probably hit up the bar and stock up on supplies at the commissary. Penikett says he’s not sure what he’s going to do but, “Probably a lot of naps.” 

  
  


And Jensen? They all know what Jensen is going to do. The same thing he usually does when they’re on task. The usual routine of waking up early, rolling out of bed, hit the gym, train, fill out the proper paperwork and go over tactical plans. And, maybe,  _ hopefully _ , those plans can involve a certain tech operation expert. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Gens aren’t born. 

  
  


Twenty-two years ago, the GEN Division had been made. Details of how that came to be is still lost on Jensen but what he does know is that the government had developed a formula to modify the genes within humans. 

  
  


Instead of pure scientific curiosity, the government decided to weaponize it. The formula isn’t perfect; they can’t design the genes to what they desire within a subject. It’s more like unlocking whatever is already there within the DNA. Pronouncing the possibility of an ability. 

  
  


Jensen still remembers the month he spent in solidarity, waiting it out in a steel reinforced room and being watched closely as he began to show signs of force field generation. It hadn’t been much at first. It comes slowly for everyone. And because an ability is always unknown at first, they have to be kept away from everyone else. For safety purposes. He had heard horror stories of certain abilities involving radiation or bone deterioration. It’s not an easy process for anyone who signs up. Jensen and everyone else still in the program had simply been lucky. 

  
  


For the gens who don’t have abilities meant for the field are generally placed elsewhere in the Division. Everyone inside tech operations are either still dormant gens or possess abilities not deemed suitable for field ops. The Division makes use of everyone. 

  
  


He had entered the program right after high school, having been lucky enough to be found by a recruiter. He’d been a foster kid, barely having a future with the way his life was heading. The military felt like a safe bet. He had to go through other programs before reaching the GEN Division; work alongside some marines, go through the SEAL training, jump off some helicopter with the coast guard. They all did. And if some fell off the track, then so be it. After getting cleared, Jensen had been given the serum and the rest is history. 

  
  


There’s a couple hundred gens in the world and all of them live right on the undisclosed Pluto Base. It’s not meant to be common knowledge that there are genetically enhanced humans running around, doing the government’s bidding at any given time. The general public doesn’t need to be informed. And, well, Jensen doesn’t have an opinion on that. 

  
  


This is his life. He gets to be a leader of his own superhero team and isn’t that the dream?

\---

  
  
  


Hodge says he’s sprung. Penikett and Aycox know better not to say anything on the subject but Ramdeen is still young enough to be slightly obnoxious about the whole situation. Quite often, he’ll find himself denying it altogether but even Jensen knows it looks as obvious as it is. 

  
  


“You should get in there before Brown snatches him up,” Hodge says to him as they log their weapons. Standard protocol when they’re granted liberty. “Heard him and Padalecki have gotten...cozy.”

  
  


There’s a gleam in Hodge’s eyes and he’s glancing at Ramdeen with some panic. Katherine Ramdeen is better known as the one to confirm gossip to be true or not. And maybe he’s silently asking her to give the negative to that statement. 

  
  


The brunette shrugs. “Don’t look at me, Captain. I haven’t seen anything beyond the normal convo between them.”

  
  


“Guess the better question is why the head interrogator and lead of tech operations need to talk at all?” Aycox provides with feigned nonchalance, placing her handgun onto the rack. “It’s not like they have much in common.”

  
  


“And Ackles and Padalecki do?” Penikett speaks up from his spot in the corner, finishing logging in his rifle and amor. He sends a questioning look towards Jensen. “Captain, you know anything about his interests?”

  
  


“Oh, man, you don’t gotta ruin his day like that,” Hodge says, probably believing it’s helpful. “They probably both like football at least.”

  
  


“Like a good eighty percent of red blooded American males…” Ramdeen mutters and Aycox snorts. 

  
  


“Doesn’t matter,” Jensen barks out, slamming the case to his own handgun and sliding it over with the others. “I’ll see you all after liberty. Stay safe out there, Ramdeen, Aycox and Hodge---I don’t wanna hear about any bar fights.”

  
  


Both Hodge and Aycox look rather scandalized by the warning. Ramdeen flashes him a grin and thumbs up. 

  
  


“And Penikett---” Jensen gives him a disappointed stare. “Thought you were above this.”

  
  


“I was interested in the conversation.”

  
  


Jensen offers a sweeping glare over the room and heads for the exit. 

  
  


“We’re rooting for you!” Hodge yells and then there’s a wounded noise from him. He assumes Aycox hit him for the comment. 

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


It’s not that he has a crush. 

  
  


If anything, it’s simply an attraction and he’s able to ignore it when on task. Most of the time. Before Padalecki became their main support from base, Jensen had simply known him in passing. For a good seven years, he’d known of Padalecki’s existence. 

  
  


The first time he ran across Jared Padalecki had been during liberty. At the time, Jensen was still lower rank and had joined some teammates out at the base’s bigger bar. The noise, shouting and laughter began to overwhelm him, so he had decided that turning in for the night was best. And then he quite literally smashed right into another body. Padalecki, a sequoia of a man and all grins, had apologized, peeling Jensen off the floor. Jensen’s been a little fixated ever since. 

  
  


So. It’s not a crush. Just wild attraction. That he pretends he can stop at any given time. It’s a choice. 

  
  


Just like his choice to breeze by the tech operations department and maybe see if Padalecki’s there. It’s simple. They’re on good terms, despite his uncalled for outburst last time they talked. And the coffee thing might have Jensen’s head tripping up over the smallest things. It’s a good thing it’s liberty for his team because he may mess up any further missions due to this...whatever it is. 

  
  


When he peers through the glass walls encasing the room full of people at computers, his eyes snag on the corner that belongs to Padalecki. Not there. Again. Some disappointment flares inside his chest but it’s snuffed out by the mild embarrassment when one of the tech workers see him. He clears his throat and turns to go. 

  
  


“Looking for Jared?” a low feminine voice asks before he can fully turn around. 

  
  


Rachel Miner. Dark hair and pale skin. She’s been around just as long as he has been. Word is she used to be a gen on the field but her abilities became unstable. Beyond that, he has no idea what she’s doing in tech operations. 

  
  


Jensen raises his eyebrows, feigning shock almost immediately. And badly. “What? Nah, just taking a walk...around base.”

  
  


“Uh...huh,” Miner tongues the inside of her cheek, eyes flickering over him with obvious disbelief. She places a hand on her hip, the other resting on a cane. “He didn’t tell you, huh? Assigned techies get the same liberty time as their teams. So he’s probably...I don’t know, looking at cute videos of kittens and planning on sending epic fail videos to everyone in the department.”

  
  


“He didn’t but that’s not why---”

  
  


“Could you tell him to stop by the drinking fountain?” Miner requests, moving to scan her badge for the door. It slides open. “Just need some advice from him.”

  
  


“Okay…”

  
  


“He’s in Barrack Bravo, in case you didn’t know that. Or at the commissary.”

  
  


“He okay with you tellin’ me this?”

  
  


“He thinks you’re funny,” Minor provides and pauses, “And I have a bet I kinda wanna win.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Jensen’s not an idiot. He’s not about to look like one either. So when he stops by the commissary, it’s to get his usual IPA and a new pair of running shoes because the ones he has now have been worn down to the sole. And if his eyes are scanning the store for any sign of a long haired brunette with a loud laugh, no one has to know. 

  
  


When he finally leaves, he’s mentally berating himself for that childish hope. This is getting out of hand. Hodge and Miner may have gotten to him today. Jensen figures that perhaps he should go for a run. Clear his head. Sundown was an hour ago and nightly runs usually offer a good distraction from everything else. 

  
  


Then he hears it. That laugh. 

  
  


Snapping his gaze up, he spies Padalecki walking along the same sidewalk he is, just rounding the corner and coming his way. He blinks, staring at the male, who happens to walking alongside Sterling Brown. That familiar feeling from before rises up. They seem to be having a rather amiable conversation, something that has Padalecki joking with Brown. 

  
  


And before he can look away, Padalecki’s eyes fall on him. He’s only a few meters away now and he raises his hand in a greeting. Says something to Brown, who nods and continues for the commissary as Padalecki has to jog just a few seconds before he’s right in front of Jensen. 

  
  


He’s desperately not trying to let his confusion and anxiety show. Padalecki’s grinning and offering a breathy, “Hey. Didn’t think you showed your face during liberty.”

  
  


He shrugs, falling back into step towards his barracks. “Didn’t think you had liberty at all.”

  
  


Padalecki chuckles. “Nah, you just never asked.”

  
  


“Guess not,” he admits, keeping his eyes ahead of him. “Don’t tell me you just run around base, looking for people to talk to.”

  
  


“Sometimes. Why? You doing the same?”

  
  


“Maybe just one person.” Stop talking, fuck. 

  
  


In his peripheral, he sees Padalecki give him a slightly startled look. “You find them?”

  
  


Possessed by confidence conjured from some unknown crevice inside him, he gives him a side glance and a smirk. “Yeah. Think I did.”

  
  


They walk quietly for a few moments and it’s enough to make him anxious. He clears his throat when the silence stretches on longer than he’d like but Padalecki’s suddenly taking the case of beer from Jensen’s right arm. He makes a small noise to stop him. 

  
  


“Lemme help, Ackles. Besides, I got nothin’ goin’ on.”

  
  


Jensen shrugs, shifting the shoebox under his left arm and continues down the way with him. It’s not unpleasant to have a walking companion. And, quite often, Jensen finds himself alone on liberty. He often doesn’t mind it. There’s nothing wrong with spending time by himself. Especially when the alternative is getting drunk with  _ other _ people and he’s tried that for enough years to realize that maybe the base has an alcohol consumption problem. Not that he’s one to talk. 

  
  


But having Padalecki around him? Probably a bad idea. The guy probably has no clue how good looking he is. Or how much Jensen’s been eyeing him since they first met, which speaks to how badly Jensen needs to kick this issue before it affects him on the field. 

  
  


They’re in mid-conversation about what they both wrote in their reports for the last mission when they reach Jensen’s door. He got lucky. High ranking means getting his own room and, well, he’s not complaining about that. He reaches for his badge, scans it and the door unlocks. 

  
  


Padalecki is standing there in the hallway, looking strangely out of place. Throwing the shoebox on the nearest surface (the desk), he turns to Padalecki and takes the beer outstretched to him. It gets quiet then. 

  
  


“So…” Say goodbye or---?

  
  


“So. This is the room of a field captain?” Padalecki is peering over Jensen’s shoulder, then meets his eyes. “Ever get lonely without a bunkmate?”

  
  


Jensen doesn’t think about his next response. “I think it’s got room for some company.”

  
  


Padalecki raises his eyebrows, clearly bemused. 

  
  


Backtracking, “Only if you’re up to it. Got some beers and we could stream a game. You like football?”

  
  


Rambling. Great. 

  
  


But then he’s grinning at Jensen and somehow that’s the best thing he’s seen all year. “Yeah. Sounds great. Can the company pick the game they wanna see?”

  
  


“Don’t see why not.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“I don’t believe you. No way would Collins proposition Assistant Berry---of all people. He’s still alive?” 

  
  


Jensen chuckles and shrugs, leaning further into the chair, throwing a grin to the man currently taking up all the room on his bed. “I was there. It was in Egypt, about four years ago? I was on task with some other gens from different teams. Berry came to supervise---it was one of the first times working with Waterway.”

  
  


“What’d she say? I’m going to fact check you the moment I’m sober. You know that, right?”

  
  


Jensen smirks. “Don’t trust me, Padalecki?”

  
  


“Jared.”

  
  


He raises an eyebrow, smirk faltering. “What?”

  
  


“Just call me Jared,” he tells him, “And no, I don’t believe Berry let anyone who hits on her live. She scared us all shitless when someone took the last of the flan once.”

  
  


“In the field, she’s a bit different,” Jensen remarks, ignoring the strange twist in his gut and takes another pull from his beer. “She has a lotta self control.”

  
  


“Yeah, I’m sure she does.”

  
  


The game they had been streaming is long forgotten, still playing on Jensen’s screen but simply background noise for them. Pada---Jared had claimed the bed, obnoxiously bouncing himself on it a couple times before Jensen rolled his eyes and took the chair at the desk. 

  
  


It’s well into the night. Nearing eleven. He’s not used to this, if he’ll be honest. The last night someone had been in this room had been quite awhile ago. And it had most definitely been a one night stand type of deal, which devolved into a terse acquaintanceship. Sometimes he still sees her in the hallways but she’s in Intelligence now and Jensen doesn’t worry over it. Sexual relationships among gens are common, despite Jensen’s natural aversion towards it nowadays. 

  
  


“Who knew Jensen Ackles had so many interesting stories?” 

  
  


The joke’s not lost on Jensen and he snorts. “Like you have any that’re better. What, did someone accidentally staple their hand?”

  
  


“Actually, yes. And it was me,” Jared feigns offense but dissolves into light laughter. It’s contagious and so annoyingly joyful that Jensen shakes his head, chuckling himself. “I don’t think anyone’s gonna believe you’re actually pretty laid back.”

  
  


“I don’t seem laid back?”

  
  


“No. You’re GI Joe with better hair. And I think you know that.”

  
  


“That’s a compliment.”

  
  


“If that’s how you wanna take it, sure.”

  
  


Jensen scoffs, watches as Jared takes another drink. Eyes the movement of his throat as he gulps down his beer, fingers running through that out-of-dress-code hair and has to tear his gaze away, pretending to pay attention to the game. 

  
  


“This is nice. Better than Marley’s Bar, at least.”

  
  


“Glad I could provide a good time,” Jensen’s smirking before he tosses it at him. “First time is free though. I’ll be billing you twenty dollars at the door next time.”

  
  


“What if I just brought another case of beer?” 

  
  


Jensen pauses. He had been joking. And, honestly, he hadn’t thought beyond tonight in spending time with Jared. Now he’s presented with another opportunity and, well, he’s been really liking his company thus far. 

  
  


He clears his throat. “That would be---good. Acceptable.”

  
  


“Okay. Tomorrow night then.”

  
  


Jared’s up and looking like a damn Bambi trying to get a grasp on his equilibrium. He stands, watching as the taller male struggles and laughs at himself. “You gonna be good?”

  
  


“Half the adventure is getting back to my own bed,” Jared tells him and heads for the door. 

  
  


“So---really? Tomorrow night?” 

  
  


Maybe he’s sounding rather obvious but---

  
  


Jared laughs and nods. “Yeah, of course. Said I would, didn’t I?”

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


It becomes an easy routine after the second night.

  
  


Jared brings alcohol and Jensen provides the small snacks. He still puts on whatever football game he can stream up on the screen but it’s hard to focus when he continuously glances over to Jared. He has to come up with things to say so that he isn’t caught staring for too long, which has been working out in his favor. 

  
  


And it’s...easy. While he works well with his team and, occasionally, spends time with them on liberty, they all get along. But this is different and maybe he had feared he and Jared wouldn’t click so well. It’s odd because he feels as if he’s been talking to the guy most of his life. There’s an odd familiarity between them, though he can’t name it. 

  
  


Of course, that does wonders for his ever growing attraction. It’s been feeding into it for the past three days. He thinks if Hodge and Ramdeen could see him now, there would be  _ told you so _ ’s and all sorts of remarks along those lines. But he’s doing his best to ignore it all. Enjoying having a nightly companion, even if it’s platonic. 

  
  


Though, tonight, Jared brings tequila and the night dissolves into something different. 

  
  


After the third shot and buzzed enough, Jensen’s laughing at Jared’s jokes, smothering them into the back of his hand. Jared doesn’t care, seems to find delight in making him lose it, grinning brighter and laughing right along with him. 

  
  


“See? That right there,” Jared points to him then, cutting himself off. 

  
  


He lifts his head, still attempting to calm the cheer within his chest. “What?”

  
  


“ _ No one _ sees you laugh. I mean, you smile every now and then. I think I deserve a medal for my efforts.”

  
  


He stares up at Jared, who’s standing, shot glass hanging from his thumb and middle finger. Jared’s got this proud, puffed up look and it’s rather enticing. And that damn smirk that he’d like to feel against his own mouth. 

  
  


“Yeah?” Jensen stands then and, yeah, maybe the tequila finally got to his head and he’s probably risking a whole lot by even lowering his voice. He takes a step closer, watching Jared closely. “Any other medals you think you’ve earned, Padalecki?”

  
  


“I can think of a few,” Jared’s tilting his head by a fraction, eyes flickering over his face and that alone encourages him. 

  
  


“Like what?” Another step. 

  
  


“I can’t imagine a lot of people have seen Captain Ackles’ room, so there’s that.”

  
  


“And?” Too close now. It’s all he can do not to touch him. Just a breath away. “Did you wanna earn any more?”

  
  


Jared’s eyes flick to his lips and that’s all it takes. 

  
  


Cupping the back of Jared’s neck, Jensen brings his mouth to his. There’s a startled sound from Jared, smothered within the kiss. It’s soft, at first, tentative, because maybe, in the back of his mind, he’s thinking this is the wildest idea he’s ever conjured. It could go wrong on so many levels. He coaxes him, sweeping his tongue over his bottom lip and Jared responds, moving against his mouth and shifting closer into his space. 

  
  


And then Jensen’s pushing his luck further, slipping his hand over the jut of Jared’s hip, skimming his thumb over the material and then moving the hem of the shirt away to reveal the skin beneath. The action seems to spur Jared, who responds by nipping lightly at his lip and, oh, if that doesn’t do it in for Jensen. Desire flares up inside him and he nearly pushes Jared down to the bed right there. 

  
  


Gripping Jared’s hip, he uses it as leverage to grind their hips together. He’s rather pleased to find Jared’s feeling just about the same way about the kiss as he is. Jensen does it again, harder this time and Jared gasps, snapping back from the kiss. Jensen stills then, watching him carefully for any signs to stop. Maybe he went too far. They’re not---yeah, maybe this is too fast. 

  
  


Jared’s breathing shakily, chest rising and falling with it. His eyes open and Jensen waits for him to say something,  _ anything _ . Then Jared’s leaning his forehead against his with traces of a smile. 

  
  


“Fuck,” he breathes out. 

  
  


Jensen grins, brings the hand behind his neck up to his hair and tugs. The reaction is instant; Jared moans, eyes shut tight and hips rutting against his. Jensen can feel his dick growing harder with that, straining against the zipper of his jeans. 

  
  


“You like that?” Jensen murmurs against the corner of Jared’s mouth. He does it again and it gains him another moan. “Yeah, I think you do.”

  
  


Jared kisses him hard then. Probably to shut him up. He isn’t going to complain about it. Seven years of this bout of attraction and sexual frustration has him molding to whatever Jared wants because, hell, this is exactly what he’s been after. Jared grows bolder, taking Jensen’s bottom lip between his teeth and he loves it, pressing them closer together. He begins mindlessly grinding against him until Jared takes a step back, detaching himself. 

  
  


For another moment, Jensen’s wondering if he’s stopping it right here. And he thinks that maybe he’ll be a little more than crushed if Jared leaves now. He wouldn’t blame him; he’s the one coming onto him after all, but the rest of his doubts are smeared away when Jared goes to the hem of Jensen’s shirt, lifting it and, oh, yeah, he can work with that. 

  
  


Shedding their clothing is full of fumbling and chuckling as they clumsily kick their jeans away and toss each other’s shirts across the room. Jensen’s still grinning when he leaves kisses down the line of Jared’s neck, reaching his collarbone and eases them down on the bed. His hands go everywhere they can, exploring and attaching the feeling to memory. Afraid he might forget it tomorrow. 

  
  


And, fuck, the sound Jared makes when he takes hold of his cock is mind numbing. He lightly bites into his shoulder, causing another moan from Jared, who lifts his hips, an effort to get friction. He’s teasing Jared, he knows but maybe, on some level, he wants to draw this out. From experience, he knows these kinds of nights don’t have repeats and, with his luck, this will be the only time he gets to have this. 

  
  


But Jared seems to have had enough. “Jensen---” A cut off whine when he sweeps his thumb over the head. “---if you don’t stop, I’m gonna---” He strokes him, spreading the mess of precum over the top. “ _ Jensen _ .”

  
  


“Like you like this,” he murmurs, tracing the line of his side with his other hand, watching Jared bite the inside of his lip, suppressing the obvious moan that makes its way out, despite his efforts. That won’t do. Part of him wants the whole barracks to hear this; know what he’s doing with Jared Padalecki. It’s a possessiveness that sparks somewhere in him and he works hard to push it away. “Gorgeous beneath me...all needy…”

  
  


“ _ Ackles _ .”

  
  


Jensen smirks, dipping down to leave feathered kisses against his jaw, still stroking him. He feels his own cock throbbing, aching for any type of friction. Jared thrusts his hips up again, groaning when he takes his hand away. 

  
  


“Want me inside you, Jared?”

  
  


“Oh, fuck,” Jared’s bringing his arm over his eyes, breathing out and sounding strained. 

  
  


If he’s being honest, it’s taking a lot not to sound like he’s been dying for this forever. “Wanna feel me?”

  
  


“Jensen---fuck. Just.  _ Yes _ .”

  
  


The lube is easy to procure, stuck under the mattress because inspections are a bitch and he’s not about to be questioned about his masturbatory habits. It’s rarely checked, despite it being an obvious hiding spot for anything. The condom, however, had been harder to find until Jared murmurs something about his jean’s pocket and Jensen retrieves it from the overstuffed wallet. 

  
  


It’s not long before he’s pushing a finger inside Jared, who’s a writhing mess and it’s so fucking hot. Another finger and Jared’s smothering whines into the back of his hand, which Jensen immediately takes away, gripping his wrist and pinning it above his head. 

  
  


“Let me hear you,” he hisses. 

  
  


And with a third finger added, Jared moans, bucking his hips to Jensen’s slow rhythm. Jensen has to swallow down the instant need to be inside him, watching as Jared fucks himself on his fingers. An image of Jared doing this to himself comes to mind and, damn, that’s gonna give him material to jack off to no matter how tomorrow goes. 

  
  


Finally, he can’t take it anymore. He removes his fingers from Jared’s hole and Jared gives a strangled whine, still attempting to be quiet. But he’s about to change that as he flips Jared over. Without any coaxing at all, Jared lifts his hips, bowing his back. Jensen thinks this would be something he could get used to rather easily. 

  
  


His hands skim down Jared’s sides, resting on his hips and he gives a small squeeze. In a matter of seconds, he’s guiding his cock into the tight heat. He groans, easing his way inside, bending over and catching a fistful of Jared’s hair to give a slight tug. A visible shudder runs over Jared’s body and Jensen almost loses it right there. 

  
  


“That why you keep it long, Padalecki?” 

  
  


He jerks on his hair again, bottoming out inside him and Jared gasps. 

  
  


“Just want someone to pull it?” He jerks back until just the head of his cock is inside. He’s not gonna last long. His voice is hoarse with need and obvious desire. “Think I can do that for you.”

  
  


“Yeah,” is Jared’s strangled response. And then he pushes himself back into Jensen, taking his full length. 

  
  


Jensen has nearly no self control after that. His thrusts are erratic, hard and probably too rough. But it brings the reaction he’s been wanting as it punches out louder sounds from Jared. Moans and whines and, with specifically aimed thrusts towards a particularly sensitive spot inside him, he nearly says his name. It comes out in jagged shouts, his name broken down into syllables but, damn, it brings him closer to the edge. 

  
  


He lets go of his hair and brings a hand down between Jared’s legs, taking his cock in his hand and barely gets a few strokes in until Jared’s shouting into the blankets with his release. It sets him off and he’s coming too, deep inside. 

  
  


He barely registers it when Jared nudges him onto his back or when he’s draping himself over him. All he really cares about is the strange comfort of feeling Jared’s overheated body on his, face nuzzled into Jensen’s neck and the overwhelming sense of another person sticking it out with him through the night. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  


The morning comes with a slight headache and the need to hydrate. And take a shower. However, the body basically encasing him on the all too small twin bed is enough to keep him where he is. Jensen breathes in, keeping the form on top by snaking his arm around his waist. 

  
  


The events of last night flash through his mind and maybe his heart rate picks up at the memories. Shit. Yeah. This is gonna be the awkward  _ Well, that was nice, let’s not see each other again _ morning. He sighs out, bringing his other hand to his face to rub out the sleepiness there. 

  
  


Part of him is still shocked Jared had stayed. All his previous sexual endeavors ended shortly after. They’d leave or he would and it’s never been a real issue but, yeah, he’s a bit relieved Jared hadn’t snuck out or anything. But maybe he had hoped they wouldn’t have to have that terrible talk he knows they’re gonna have. 

  
  


He opens his eyes and startles when he sees a pair of hazel ones staring up at him. Jared grins, resting his chin on his chest. 

  
  


“You watching me sleep? Creepy.”

  
  


“Nah, you woke me up with all that broody sighing.”

  
  


Jensen hums, rubbing at his eyes again. “Need a shower.”

  
  


“And to brush your teeth.”

  
  


“Okay,” Jensen grumbles, pushing the large, snickering male off him. “You get to wash my sheets now.”

  
  


Moving away from the casual comfort of the bed and insane heat Jared gives off may be one of the harder things he’s done. But it’s an automatic action; habitual after each and every encounter like this. Clean up shop and leave. While the military alone has the easy come-and-go style, gens don’t think about any sort of relationship at all. Hell, the last time he got laid, it was behind Marley’s Bar at three AM and the guy didn’t even say a, “See you around.” He’s not any better, Jensen knows. It’s not---gens just don’t get that around here. Not until they’re released from the program, at least. Then all bets are off; trying to have a normal life could be possible. But for Jensen, that day is a long way off. 

  
  


He’s come to accept he won’t have Jared again. Part of him had been hoping that the sex would finally flush out the attraction. Get it out of his system now that the fantasy has come to life. Maybe that’s only half the problem, though. Maybe he pictured having Jared again. Maybe he thought of something beyond mindless rutting and tequila kisses. 

  
  


Jensen sort of hates how that leaves him wanting. 

  
  


Rather indignantly, he turns on the shower and furiously brushes his teeth over the sound of water running. He’s not about to have Jared call him out on hygiene first thing in the morning. The little shit would probably laugh. He’s still naked but, at this point, he’s not concerned. 

  
  


Steam begins misting the mirror and he jumps into the shower, breathing in deep. Jared will be gone by the time he gets back out, he’s sure. It’s easier this way. Not saying the  _ See you later _ . The thought of having Jared in his ear over assignments feels overwhelming to deal with right now, so he pushes it away. Thinks about Jared’s hands over his skin, the noises he made and how he hopes Sergeant [someone] next door heard him (secretly  _ really _ hopes Brown, across the hall, figured it out too). 

  
  


The jagged spike of arousal returns. He leans against the wall, the ceramic tiles cold against his skin and almost jars him back but another thought of Jared’s moans, his hips bucking back onto his fingers, and  _ fuck _ , he just wants. Wants to touch again, wants to press his mouth against that tendon on his neck, wants to hear him say his fucking name---

  
  


He’s not even seconds into jerking himself off when the shower curtain skits over a bit, the sound making him freeze in the act as he locks gazes with Jared. He can only raise his eyebrows when Jared glances down to the cock in his hand and back to his face. Then there’s that smirk again and all Jensen wants to do is kiss it off his mouth. 

  
  


“Thought I’d join you,” Jared’s murmuring then, eyes dark with matched desire. 

  
  


Jensen’s feeling pretty lucky then, when somehow his morning gets even better. There, with Jared’s mouth around his dick, he thinks he could get used to this. It’s easy; a lazy type of surrender to whatever he’s given himself to. And when he comes, Jared swallows it all and, damn, that’s going into the spank bank for awhile. 

  
  


He’s ready to return the favor but apparently Jared’s been stroking himself and the evidence is clear on the shower’s floor, running down the drain. So Jensen bends down to kiss him instead and Jared goes with it, thankfully, letting him run his hands through drenched hair and tugging slightly to get at a better angle. 

  
  


It’s a piece of something that he’s been chasing, he thinks. And isn’t that a bitch. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The rest of the day goes Jared-less. 

  
  


He’d left with a joke about brushing his own teeth and resting after getting only four hours of sleep. And that alone is a joke because Jensen’s almost positive that’s the normal sleep schedule for an operations tech anyway. But he laughed because, yeah, he’s sprung. Just like fucking Hodge said, which annoys the shit out of him. 

  
  


And then he’s back to the boring liberty he had before. 

  
  


When he and his team get back on task, there’s already another assignment waiting for them. A patrol for insurgents. He’s somewhat surprised they don’t have them looking for the target again but he supposes Director Smith may be putting that off until there’s more intel. 

  
  


He’s still not sure how he feels about going after a kid. A teenager, scared of them enough to kill himself over it. Deep conditioning does that to impressionable teens, he supposes. The insurgents must recruit from a young age. 

  
  


From what he’s been told, the insurgents are only domestic terrorists. For the time being. They keep popping up over the United States, which is concerning but they haven’t made any headline news. Which is good, all things considered. Jensen’s been aware of them for the past seven years. They’ve yet to go on the Internet and announce their presence, but Director Smith says they seem disorganized to the point of not knowing what they truly want beyond anarchy. Besides, it’s not his place to understand motives. He simply does what he’s told. 

  
  


And honestly? He doesn’t care, as long as they’re wiped out one way or another. They’ve managed to kill people Jensen’s known. Ian Tracey, for one. And he’s not about to start wondering why the hell the insurgents do what they do when he could help to eliminate them. 

  
  


Breakers. That’s what they call themselves. A scattered group of terrorists, who don’t know what they’re doing. In the end, it won’t matter because they’ve made the mistake of not bringing mass media attention to their goals, whatever they may be. And luckily, the GEN program had been called for the occasion. 

  
  


In any case, Jensen has no doubt his team will be stuck with the target assignment again. It’s only a matter of time. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


That night, Jensen’s streaming some news and flipping through some of the reports of new recruits to the base. As a team leader, he gets the boring task of helping vet some new meat that enters the program. Sometimes he wonders if a captain ever looked at his file with the same boredom he’s doing with these. 

  
  


And that’s about the time there’s a knock at his door. 

  
  


Sometimes he wonders if Jared means to look like the fucking sun. His grin alone could power the lights and the security system in the barracks alone. And of course, Jensen’s standing there, blinkling at the man in the hallway with mild confusion. 

  
  


“C’mon, wanna get delinquent?” Jared nods his head in an aimless direction. “Wanna show you somethin’.”

  
  
  


Jensen doesn’t think to say no but he does bring his wallet, despite the mind numbing daze. Jared leads him out the barracks and past the main courtyard. People hardly pay attention to them but there's a couple who acknowledge Jensen with a quiet, "Cap'n." 

  
  
  


Jared, on the other hand, says a few words here and there. Talks about the time he had to climb Building Kilo for some physical training but it was a sideways punishment for being late. Says he had to have the harness and everything and Jensen’s chuckling because he remembers having to do the same thing for a different reason. 

  
  


He almost forgets Jared had dragged him out of the safe confinement of his room until they stop at one of the older buildings. It rests on the edge of the base, near the dense woods and away from the usual watchtowers. Building Echo, ironically named, since there’s rumors of hauntings and the like. Little stories to tell over late night, drunken walks and have a laugh over during an assignment. Now they stand before the abandoned rickety thing. At best, it’s used for storage. It’s not built of cinder blocks and cement like the others; it had been a chapel once, he’s told. And then offices for human service members. And now it stashes away dusty chairs and tables and probably other items that will be bulldozed away in the future. 

  
  


He gives Jared an expectant look, remembers  _ wanna get delinquent? _ Jared grins at him and closes a hand around his wrist. Leads him to the side of Building Echo where the rusted ladder to the roof is and begins to climb. Ah. The story from before makes a little sense now. 

  
  


And he follows. 

  
  


Later, he’ll think how oddly excited he had been to do so. Simply take Jared’s obviously childish lead. Because most of his life, he’s been able to be the leader, take control. Even as a new recruit, he had been able to take the reins on most of the operations as second in command. Most of his career at the Division has seen him in a position of leadership. But now here he is, following this strangely lighthearted guy, with a damn bright smile, and too much laughter. 

  
  


When they get to the top, Jared simply plops down with a heavy sigh. Jensen kneels next to him. 

  
  


“This could get us some liberty taken away,” he tells Jared. 

  
  


“Yeah. Worth it.”

  
  


Jared reminds him of the guys from high school who would get in trouble for the stupidest things. Harmless stunts that land him in detention, but still the kid who took dance class and played basketball just for the fun of it. And, well, he’s gotta say, he’s fine with hanging around the delinquent. 

  
  


“I wanna see the coast,” Jared says then, quietly. 

  
  


He realizes he’s been staring at him, rather blatantly. But Jared’s still looking towards the night sky, hands behind his head as a cushion and bringing his legs up to knock against his. He gets the hint and sits down comfortably next to him but there’s no way he’s about to lay down on a dirty rooftop. Jared may be adventurous and feeling lucky but he doesn’t want to have to exfoliate whatever grime from his skin tonight. 

  
  


“What coast?”

  
  


“Any. All of them. Wanna see the beach.”

  
  


“Swim with the dolphins?” he teases with a sniff. 

  
  


“Sure. Why not?” Jared looks at him, finally, a playful glint in his eyes and it looks an awful lot like a star above. “What do you want? After all this?”

  
  


Jensen doesn’t think about that much. It’s not really something he’s looking forward to, if he’s being honest. The Division gives him structure. Good meals, a bed, productivity. He’s working and fine with it. As a kid, he wanted to be so many things that varied from the childish fantasy of being a firefighter or an astronaut. But in reality? There’s not much left for him after the Division. 

  
  


But when he answers, it’s the truth, “Build my own house.”

  
  


“Yeah?”

  
  


“Huge front deck. Two stories.”

  
  


“Balcony?”

  
  


“For the master bedroom. Basement with built-in shelving.”

  
  


“All windows for the living room?”

  
  


He closes his eyes. Maybe smiles. “Yeah. View of the front yard.”

  
  


“Didn’t figure you for an architect.”

  
  


“I’m not. It’s just the dream.”

  
  


“The dream,” Jared echoes quietly and he hears him shifting. “It’s a nice thing, I guess.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“Dreaming,” Jared supplies, “Both terrible and comforting.”

  
  


In the back of his mind, Jensen knows exactly what that statement means. It’s blocked, somehow. Whispers through stone crevices, hardly carrying through conscious thought.  _ You’ll never leave. _ On some level, he understands what Jared’s trying to say to him. But he doesn’t want to. 

  
  


It’s just a dream. Live in a house he’s built for himself. Perhaps someone with him, if they can stand it. Out on some land, away from people, from orders and assignments. Away from everything. Tucked inside his little world where there’s hardly any room for anything but the mundane call of normal living. Part of him wants that boring lifestyle. 

  
  


But right now, he supposes it’s not bad having purpose. 

  
  


“Seeing the beach ain’t that hard to do,” Jensen tells him and opens his eyes to glance down at Jared, who is already staring up, right at him. There’s a certain intensity about the look Jared’s giving him, as if he’s examining every movement. Under a microscope. So he says, “Eventually, all our contracts will expire.”

  
  


Then something darker passes over Jared’s features. It lasts for only a heartbeat until he blinks and a strangely sad smile lines his mouth. Hazel eyes turn towards the night sky. “Jensen...how many people do you know who have gotten out?”

  
  


“What do you mean?”

  
  


“How many gens do you know that have been discharged? Gotten an apple pie life.”

  
  


The question renders him to silence. 

  
  


How many gens have gotten out? It’s not something he’s thought about before, honestly. He came in with the second wave of volunteers. He assumes Jared did too. Almost everyone in his team is part of the second wave, save for Kat Ramdeen. He doesn’t see much of the first wave of gens. Ian Tracey had probably been the last person he’d talked to that belonged to the group of first timers. Other than that…

  
  


He shakes his head, scoffs at him. “They---it’s still a new program. There’s plenty of time for gens to retire---”

  
  


“Most of them are dead or stuck in an office somewhere,” Jared says and there’s something rather robotic about his tone, “And I think you know that, Jensen.”

  
  


He narrows his eyes at Jared, thinning his lips. 

  
  


“John Morgan, Amy Acker, Ian Tracey, Fredric Lehne---those are the ones you’re thinking of, right?” Jared prompts, sitting up now and it only causes Jensen’s hackles to rise. “They’re all dead right now. Buried in a civilian graveyard, where no one knows they ever served their country.”

  
  


Maybe that shocks him more than it should. He blinks a couple times, hushing the coldness that attempts to take root within his chest. Tracey doesn’t even get recognition? 

  
  


“What are you saying?” 

  
  


“We don’t get to outlive our contracts. This...this life doesn’t let us. Gens don’t get that.”

  
  


He’s vaguely aware he’s going through a stage of denial when he asks, “Not gens like you. They were all killed on assignment. In action. You’re not---”

  
  


“Gens like me,” Jared mutters quietly.

  
  


It’s quiet then.

  
  


After a few heartbeats and Jensen hanging on every movement Jared makes, he thinks about apologizing. He knows that sometimes the gens who get grounded at headquarters get flack from those who are out in the field. There’s a slight disparity, socially. Useless is a word that’s thrown their way every now and then. 

  
  


Jensen’s never felt that way. His shield generation gives him plenty of reason to be out in the field. But gens with abilities deemed unhelpful by the higher ups get stuck in a corner with mundane jobs for support. And as much of a star as Jared Padalecki may be, he still had been denied field work and he can only assume that stings sometimes. 

  
  


Jared raises his hands suddenly, rests his forearms on his knees. He holds his breath. Jared’s going to leave. That’s it---he did it to himself. This---whatever he had with Jared is gone now. Of course it’d be a stupid conversation and his defensivness. 

  
  


Jared snaps his fingers and bright colors burst in the air in front of them. 

  
  


He gasps, jumping back slightly before whipping his head back to Jared, who’s smiling softly. It’s the smile that says  _ in spite of what I feel _ . The kind that seems sad but it broke through anyway. It’s wonderful and terrible at the same time. 

  
  


With a flick of his wrist, Jared allows more light to spark in the air. Small fireworks, vibrant colors. 

  
  


“This is what you can do?” Jensen murmurs, watches the light reflect in Jared’s eyes. 

  
  


Jared chuckles; it’s breathy and just perfect. “Yeah. Little light shows.”

  
  


It continues, the little light show. And it’s the quiet type of spectacular. He’s called back to a memory; July Fourth in a group home. Some of the kids got their hands on some fireworks and they all ran through the block, recklessly. He had settled for the sparklers, in the end, attempting in vain to draw things in thin air with the dying light. 

  
  


When he looks at Jared, there’s another sort of smile there. A satisfied one. And Jensen realizes that he’s mirroring the expression but perhaps with more wonder. Jared produces light with his abilities and all Jensen does is throw up shields. 

  
  


Jared’s looking back at him then, opens his mouth to say something. But he’s kissing him before any words get out. A sound comes from Jared, something encouraging and he’s kissing him back. 

  
  


In a handful of seconds, he moves back, opening his eyes to see Jared’s still closed. It takes another moment and Jared’s folding his lips until he snaps his gaze to him. Jensen swallows, watches expectantly. 

  
  


“Hey,” Jared says quietly, snapping his fingers and tiny sparks flare between them, “Wanna run away to the circus?”

  
  


Jensen has to laugh at that. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The rest of their liberty is spent with each other. Mostly the nights. 

  
  


And he’s over the moon with that fact. Jared sleeps in his bed---or rather,  _ on _ Jensen. The mattress is truly meant for one person but somehow he’s fine with sharing it with a giant. If it means Jared stays another night, he’s not going to complain about waking up with a weight draped over his entire body. 

  
  


They work around each other when it’s not sex. Lazy afternoons with paperwork and the continuous background noise of news or a recent game. Jared has his laptop and emails and he has his endless files. Until Jensen gets impatient and kisses him and Jared pulls him back to the bed. 

  
  


And it’s strangely the best thing he’s had in a long time. 

  
  


Quietly, he’s upset liberty will end all too soon.

  
  


There’s only two days left. Not much time to relish in quiet delight. Most of it has been spent with Jared. And when he’s not with him, Jensen’s trying not to think about him. What started as a drawn out attraction has grown and twisted into something he cannot fully recognize; an infatuation out of control and his first instinct is to crush it to dust. But every time Jared shows up at his door, he can’t do anything but let him in. 

  
  


After this, they probably won’t talk much, he realizes. That’s how things work around here. The military already has the issue of fraternizing but with gens? It’s all casual. Hardly any connections beyond basic desire. It’s a problem, he knows. People aren’t meant to be as detached from each other as they’ve been conditioned to. But what else can they do? 

  
  


He’s dreading the end of this. Having Jared stretched over his bed, the glow from his laptop illuminating his face. He’ll miss the contentment that warms him as Jared drapes his arms over him, the feather kisses against his neck. He’ll miss mornings in the shower, having Jared wrecked and panting under him. He’ll miss getting ready with Jared in the bathroom, having water sprinkled playfully his way. 

  
  


It’s out of control. Whatever the fuck he’s feeling, it’s gone too far. Because when their free time is over, he knows it’ll go back to how it was: professional and detached. Jensen’s not sure how he’ll get through it without stumbling over himself. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Patrols are typically meant to scope out areas for other assignments. The current one Jensen and his team are on is probably intended for a future team to check out something. Since they literally blew up their last assignment, Team 026 is standing idle until called upon again. 

  
  


He’s fine with that. Because, right now? Jared’s still on the comm and his team has only questioned his good mood once. He takes that as the win it is. 

  
  


It’s in the poorer parts of Los Angeles. So they’re dressed in civvies in an attempt to blend in. Patrols are the boring assignments; the kind that lasts only twelve hours but feel like a week. Usually, Jensen dreads them but he’s been sporting a satisfied attitude all night. 

  
  


Maybe he’s still being oblivious. Despite how things went straight back to the status quo, it’s still giving him a strange amount of energy whenever he hears Jared chuckle quietly over the comms when he makes a smart quip every now and then. It’s not too odd for Jared to be listening in, though it’s---it’s just nice. Especially when their week together is, well, over. 

  
  


It’s not long until Hodge takes his position and walks along the sidewalk to lean against the iron fence, next to Jensen. Aycox and Ramdeen have been placed in high rise areas. Aycox on a roof and Ramdeen in a fire escape on the building a block away. Penikett is still scoping out the park nearby, which means he’s dealing with a lot of people waiting to get inside that festival. Hodge and Jensen got the streets. 

  
  


Assignments are given by the higher ups but the team leader gets to draw out the game plan. It’s probably why he feels a blow to his pride from the last assignment they were on. Besides his report, he hasn’t given it much thought. Otherwise, he’d stew in his own disappointment. 

  
  


Jensen shoves his hands in his jacket pockets, letting his shoulders tense slightly at the motion before willing them to relax. The comms are silent now, which means everyone else is more focused than he is. 

  
  


A group of young twenty-somethings pass them, laughing and jeering one another. Headed to the music festival, he’s sure. It creates a good cover, if anything goes down tonight. 

  
  


He glances over to Hodge, mulling over echoes of thoughts. Jared’s words from a few nights ago has him thinking of Hodge’s former team leader. Tracey. A good guy. Good leader. But Tracey was older and more than likely was ready to put in for a discharge in the next couple of years. 

  
  


He hates thinking this way. It had been the norm before; no one talks about how many deaths occur. Gens typically didn’t live out their lives for too long. If the serum doesn’t destroy them, it’s the field work. It’s simply been something that’s hanging over them but they don’t mention it aloud. 

  
  


Jared did, though. And now it’s plaguing him. 

  
  


Jensen clears his throat and turns his comm to manual. No one else can hear him for right now. “Hodge.”

  
  


His sharpshooter raises his eyebrows with expectancy, takes the hint and switches his comm to manual too. “What’s up, Captain?”

  
  


“Humor me,” he says with a sharp shrug, “How many gens you know have gotten a discharge?”

  
  


A startled and short laugh comes from Hodge then and he’s looking at him like he’s crazy. He scoffs and shakes his head, as if the answer had been obvious. “No one I know. And I can tell you right now, no one else knows anyone who has either. Doin’ a survey, Ackles?”

  
  


“Just---wondering,” he says, frowning to himself.

  
  


“Tracey…” Hodge begins, his brows knitting together. “He, uh, didn’t renew his contract when it came up. Said he wanted to get a life. He woulda been out by now.”

  
  


There’s a raw pang in his chest when Hodge talks about his former leader sometimes. That assignment had been the one to change everything. No one blamed Jensen when his team didn’t get there in time but he did. He’d taken the safer route to get to Team 013’s location; to keep his teammates from harm. And Tracey suffered for it. 

  
  


It still surprises him that Hodge can talk aboutTracey with nonchalance. But tonight is slightly different. There’s an edge to his voice. He’s remembering, finally. And Jensen feels responsible for dragging it all out. 

  
  


“I didn’t mean to---”

  
  


“Nah, it’s good,” Hodge murmurs, shakes his head again. “Retirement ain’t for us, y’know? Remember Able? Kid in Intelligence? He was talkin’ about leaving and then the serum caught up to him. Might as well live out the rest of our days here. Not worth the trouble of all the paperwork anyway.”

  
  


There’s something deeply oppressing about those words. Like a resignation he’s never heard before. The daily grind that stares them in the face. Something inescapable. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Upon their return, Ramdeen shares what she had done in the big city. Hotel, clubbing and meeting a few “normal people”. It makes him wonder how strange of a life they all live if she’s saying something like that. Aycox and Hodge justify why it’s not fair they’re not allowed at Marley’s Bar for next liberty. 

  
  


And, like a habit, Jensen makes his way to the operations tech wing. Thankfully, most tech’s are involved in their own work to notice him. Without much thought, he strides to Jared’s corner with the ridiculous amount of screens and keyboards. Every now and then, he’ll try to study what’s on the desk or cubicle walls; so far, he’s noted a small model Millenium Falcon by computer number two, a poster for  _ The Thing _ and some pens that he’s sure have some sort of video game design on them. Besides that, maybe he’s just too focused on Jared. 

  
  


Of course, Jared is there, sitting at a computer and already typing out the report for the patrol. It’s like he knows Jensen was near because he swivels around in the chair and grins brightly. Jensen almost falters and falls over his own damn feet. Jesus, he needs to get his shit together. 

  
  


“Coffee?” Jared’s holding up the cup for him. 

  
  


There’s something strangely warm about someone having coffee ready for him at midnight. He takes it, intentionally brushes his fingers over Jared’s and leans against the cubical wall. 

  
  


“Don’t suppose you could write my report too?” Jensen asks, half-heartedly. 

  
  


Jared chuckles, shaking his head and turning back to his computer. “That’s on you, Ackles. I’ll silently cheer you on.”

  
  


“That’s too bad,” he murmurs, mind on autopilot. His eyes flicker over Jared’s form, quietly committing it to memory. Shit. He has no damn reason to be here. He shouldn’t have… He’s just torturing himself at this point. “Coulda gotten somethin’ in return.”

  
  


At the quiet response, Jared glances up. There’s a slight question on his face before it melts into something rather knowing. Like he can read Jensen and maybe he can. Just see this terrible want, written all over his damn face. Jared turns his attention back to the computer but doesn’t move beyond that, eyes downcast. 

  
  


Fuck.

  
  


Jensen shifts, uncomfortable. Okay, he broke the rules. He tried continuing it. Whatever  _ it _ is. This awful, nameless need. He got more than he should have. Got a whole week with the guy he’s been silently pining for and he still wants more. It hadn’t been enough and now that’s on display, right in front of Jared. 

  
  


And to think: he had done so well pretending before. 

  
  


“You guys just training tomorrow, right? Why don’t you swing by when you’re done,” Jared says in a low tone, turning back to his typing again. Not meeting his eyes. “Maybe we can stream a game.”

  
  


It’s all he can do not to grin. He can’t believe it. Jared’s actually agreeing to seeing him again? This goes against---well, everything. He clears his throat and nods. “Uh, yeah, I---” he starts backing up but he clumsily hits the cubicle wall instead, “Um, sounds good. I’ll come by.”

  
  


“Great,” and that grin is also going to be the death of him.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


“Ramdeen---what’d I say about direct hits?”

  
  


“Shit--- _ okay _ !”

  
  


Jensen watches as Penikett goes for Ramdeen again with an uppercut but she shifts her position and disappears from Penikett’s sight. It’s not Penikett’s fault he can’t see her when she jabs an elbow into his back and kicks him to the floor. 

  
  


Katherine Ramdeen is able to vanish from people’s sight often. It’s why people talk around her because they don’t think she’s there. In most cases, if Katherine is near peripheral vision, she’s invisible. If someone doesn’t look quick enough, she’s gone and there’s no seeing her until she wants to be seen. It works for stealth missions like a charm. She’s their intel gathering agent when needed.

  
  


As for Penikett, well, he’s still figuring out the limits of his own powers. Truth is, even the lab coats were having trouble categorizing his abilities. Pressure manipulation is what they settled on. 

  
  


Tahmoh Penikett slams his right fist down on the floor and suddenly Ramdeen is laying on her back, forced by the gravity Penikett wields. He can decrease or increase the pressure of anything or anyone for a limited amount of time. For awhile, they used him for typical physical labor until he discovered he could help himself leap great distances, which is pretty cool and had Jensen jealous for a time. 

  
  


On the other side of the gym, Aycox and Hodge spar together. Jensen can’t help but suspect there’s something more going on between the two than they let on but he’s not about to call them out on it. Especially now, since that would make him a tremendous hypocrite. It hasn’t interfered with assignments, so he’s not going to mention anything to the two of them. 

  
  


Hodge catches Aycox off guard and gets her jaw, which throws her back a few steps. Nicki Aycox wields regenerative abilities; Jensen once saw her reset her femur in the span of an hour after breaking it in a bad fall. Her abilities are tricky to deal with, since her cells are usually working on overdrive to ensure she stays healthy enough. It’s useful but he worries for her. He’s seen several gens with powers like hers and when strained to the limit, their bodies break down. 

  
  


And Aldis Hodge. He’s the most normal out of the group, if Jensen’s to be honest. He’s got accuracy manipulation, which is why he’s the team’s sharpshooter. From any distance, Hodge is able to nail a target, despite any surrounding. Which is why he’s able to land another hit on Aycox, even if her expert maneuvering is up to par. 

  
  


He’d argue he has one of the best teams right now. He got lucky with them, he thinks. Having them has saved a lot of problems in the past. 

  
  


But now, he can only think that maybe this is all they have. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


The open invitation from Jared has been ringing in his ears for a better part of the day. After training, Jensen showers and throws on the casual uniform they’re allowed to wear around base. Gray camouflage pants, steel toed boots and black shirt with the Division’s emblem sewn over the heart. It’s not the most professional but neither is what he’s seeking out to do. So it fits, for the time. 

  
  


When he arrives to the all-too familiar operations support’s wing, he holds his ID to the small panel by the doors for them to open. Before they do, through the glass, he spies something rather out of place. It gives him some pause. 

  
  


There, in Jared’s corner, Sterling Brown is leaning into the space. Jared’s out of sight but Jensen just  _ knows _ who Brown is talking to. Too close. Probably whispering something. When the doors open, he can’t even help how he nearly marches over, like he’s on a mission. 

  
  


As he approaches, the scene seems even more obvious. They’re talking in hushed tones, under the general hum of conversation of the operations offices. It’s mostly Brown saying something; he can’t hear it but that’s probably his problem. Secretive. 

  
  


Sterling Brown, head of Interrogation, usually keeps to himself. A tall alpha type of male. Attractive. Jensen’s shared a few drinks with him back in the day. He’s quiet and friendly. He’s never heard a bad word said about Brown. But, damn, if he wants to have a few right now. While he desperately tries not to, he can hear Hodge’s warning about Brown’s attention towards Jared. 

  
  


He stops right before them, eyeing Brown as he straightens his back to face Jensen. Vaguely, he’s aware Jared turns around in his chair. 

  
  


“Hey!” Jared says, a little loud and he can’t be sure but there’s a hint of nervousness there. “Training’s over already?”

  
  


“Yeah,” Jensen allows his gaze to linger on Brown, who stares right back with an expectant look, before his attention is fully on Jared and lets himself smile. “We’ve got the rest of the day for the usual individual training.”

  
  


Jared hums with a nod, eyes flicking up towards Brown. In return, Brown looks down to Jared with a skeptical look on his face. He shifts towards the exit but not before saying to Jared, “Don’t forget what I said, Padalecki.”

  
  


Jensen keeps watching Brown until he leaves. If anyone calls him out on it, he won’t deny it. Jared clears his throat, obviously attempting to get his attention. Blinking back, he’s greeted by a bemused look. 

  
  


“So...you have nothing to do for the rest of the day?”

  
  


Jensen can’t even stop the words that come out. “Let’s get outta here.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


He tugs at Jared’s wrist until he’s standing and lets go, mindful that they’re still in a room full of others. When they’re in the hallway, he has to check to see if Jared is still following him. Just in case. They take a couple turns around some corners before Jared says something. 

  
  


“Jensen,” he hisses, like it’s a secret, “Where are we going?”

  
  


He halts, whipping around with the intent to answer but the words don’t make it out. Sometimes, he forgets, he thinks. How Jared looks with that expression on his face, the fact that he had him all to himself for a whole week. Forgets if he’s not looking at him all the time. 

  
  


And now someone else is looking at him.

  
  


“Jensen---”

  
  


Without much thought, he grips Jared’s hand and pulls him into the nearest janitorial closet. It’s roomy enough to do exactly what he wants to do and that’s kiss him until his lips are numb. Until Jared’s making those sounds against his mouth. 

  
  


Jared’s chuckling against his lips, tugging on the shirt to pull him closer. He pulls back just enough to say, “Is this your individual training for the day?”

  
  


Molten desire creeps through his veins, enriched by the whispered ideas of someone else doing this to Jared. He recognizes the feeling, understands the danger of it but acts on it anyway.  _ Mine _ , sings the thoughts in his head.  _ Mine _ , says the hands that grasps blindly for him.  _ Mine _ . The word lays on his tongue before it’s swallowed. 

  
  


Jensen presses his lips against his neck, open-mouthed kisses that makes Jared’s breath hitch and, damn, he loves that. Murmuring, “You offering?”

  
  


Instead of answering, Jared crowds him against the door in the already cramped space. He catches a glimpse of a smirk and darkened eyes before he’s kissed once more. It fills him with that nameless need again; the one he can’t quite name. It makes him desperate, nipping at his bottom lip and fingers scrambling to the clasp of Jared’s pants. 

  
  


If they’re caught now, Jensen realizes he wouldn’t have much regret over the matter. Perhaps it’s his unbridled elation Jared chose to continue this---thing between them. It’s got him wired and it’s only amplified by the memory of Brown leaning down, whispering something to Jared. 

  
  


He’s been in this far too long. This torch he’s been carrying for a guy who only started talking to him because of the damn job. But he can’t believe how fucking lucky it is he’s with the same guy right now, crushed together in a cleaning closet with only the light from under the crack of the door to illuminate anything. It’s wonderful and oh so dangerous at the same time. 

  
  


When he’s got them switched and has Jared against the door, kneeling down, Jensen realizes maybe it’s a little crazy too. The good kind, he thinks, when he runs a hand down Jared’s flank, unclasping the buttons of his pants and tugging down until his cock springs free. The good kind of crazy because the way Jared keens when his mouth is on him can only be the good kind, right? 

  
  


His tongue swirls around the head before he fully takes him, barely making it past his throat before he hears those delicious sounds from Jared. He flicks his eyes upwards to get a glimpse and it’s a sight to behold, that’s for sure. Jared’s bottom lip is caught between his teeth, eyes shut tight and furrowed brow, as if he’s trying his hardest not to move or make any more noise than he already has. 

  
  


And, oh, how Jensen wishes he could be louder. 

  
  


He holds Jared’s hips in place before making a steady pace. And, fuck, he might as well get jawlock after this because of Jared’s size. Encouraged by the muffled  _ Yeah, yeah _ ’s and hissed  _ Jensen _ ’s, he makes the attempt to completely deepthroat him. When he does, he stays there, letting his throat contract around Jared’s cock and peers up. Jared’s looking right down at him, desire glazed eyes and hands gripping at the short hair of Jensen’s head. 

  
  


He’s promptly pulled off and he coughs at the sudden motion. Jared’s tugging him up and before he can act on anything else, his pants are being undone. Flushed and probably breathing too hard, he watches as Jared begins stroking him, achingly slow. He wants  _ fast _ . He wants to  _ take _ . 

  
  


But Jared flicks his eyes to his and there’s something--- _ different _ this time. Something that reminds him of the time on the roof, rainbow colors reflected in his eyes. Like a mask that’s slipped away, if only for a moment. It startles him to move. 

  
  


So Jensen pushes them closer together, buries his face within Jared’s neck and begins to grind against him. Just like when he was a horny teenager, it’s enough to get both of them off. He wonders briefly if Jared had been as high-strung as he had been since they entered this damn janitor’s closet. 

  
  


He stays where he is, pinning Jared against the door and lips pressed against his pulse, which thrums against the hollow of his neck. Jared’s breathing harshly, chest rising and falling and it’s, well, it’s nice. He likes it. And that’s not something he wants to examine. Figuring out what type of mundane comforts he prefers is not something to look into. At least for Jensen. 

  
  


Jared clears his throat, running a hand through his hair before he gets the hint. Stepping away, he smirks slightly. With the mess, Jared’s gonna have to go back to his barracks to change. There’s bound to be someone to notice and he’s truly hoping it’ll be Brown. 

  
  


“I think that’s enough training for both of us,” Jared mumbles. 

  
  


“I don’t know…” he leans in again, intending to claim another kiss, “I could train a while longer.”

  
  


Maybe it shouldn’t shock him when Jared turns his head to the side slightly, causing Jensen to miss his lips and graze his cheek. He blinks. Oh. 

  
  


“So, you and Brown, huh?”

  
  


_ Stupid. _ He’s not sure what on earth compelled him to bring it up. He’s not a masochist, as far as he knows. And he’s not interested in the office romantic drama. He’s managed to stay clear of most of it since his life with the Division. But now it’s out there and he has no way of bringing it back. 

  
  


“It’s not what you think,” Jared says as he straightens his clothing out. “He’s just an old buddy. We were in the same group when we signed up.”

  
  


“Yeah?”

  
  


“But even if we were, would it matter?” 

  
  


And that’s what he had been afraid of. He shouldn’t have said anything. Jensen swallows, eyes downcast and shrugs. “You tell me.”

  
  


“We’re just having fun,” Jared says, like it’s the easiest fucking thing to say. “It’s not like we’re boyfriends. We don’t do that.”

  
  


Just having fun.

  
  


Right.

  
  


Fuck.

  
  


Jensen swallows all the words he might have said. Of course, that’s all it is. Because what else would it be? Gens don’t do that, like he said. Here, things are different. And besides, he’s always been different too. Couldn’t hold a relationship to save his life. 

  
  


It’s not like he wanted anything else. Just fun. 

  
  


Apparently.

  
  


“Yeah,” he breathes out and it feels like it takes all the air out of his lungs, “Yeah, just fun. That’s not what I’m saying. Just wonderin’ where you stood.”

  
  


Jared’s staring at him like he’s reading a book, figuring out what else is being said between the lines. Sometimes, he feels like that; an open book. He’s not sure what Jared would find there if he could, though. He’s not entirely sure why, for a brief few moments, he felt the need to demand  _ Why don’t we do that? _

  
  


( _ That _ . What’s  _ that  _ anyway? A relationship that will inevitably end in the crash and burn of Jensen’s life? Another bottle on the wall. Just something more he can add to the list of reasons he belongs in the Division. He’s not normal. Never has been. For some god awful reason, he wants to share it with Jared and that just can’t happen.)

  
  


“Right, yeah,” Jared murmurs, turning away and combing fingers through his hair. “Better get cleaned up. Rachel’s gonna say some shit.”

  
  


“Yeah,” because that’s all he can say.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


So it continues like that. 

  
  


Usually, Jared comes to him. All smiles and laughter and it twists something inside Jensen’s chest, like barbed wire. But Jared’s skin is warm against his and he forgets his inner conflict until the morning. Just like the fool he is. 

  
  


It causes some guilt too. He used to do the same thing: fuck and leave. It’s not hard in the lives they have. Working within the Division gives them a reason not to hold on; an unending excuse to not care. And yet, he’s here, obsessing over why he’s strangely torn up about it. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  


They’re on the roof, which boggles him at times. They find themselves here, atop the old abandoned building, closer to the edge of the base. Without fail, Jensen always prompts Jared to show off his powers. It lights up the air around them and he wants to chase Jared’s smiles with a kiss. Never does, though. Not after that first night. 

  
  


It’s there, as bright colors fade into the darkness, Jared flips to his side as they lay atop a dirty roof, staring at him askance. He can only look back, arching a brow before Jared speaks. 

  
  


“What do you want?”

  
  


Jensen thinks it’s something Jared’s asked him before but he can’t quite remember. And right now? There’s a lot of things he wants but all he can think of is:

  
  


“You.”

  
  


Jared doesn’t say anything back but he thinks he failed a test because they don’t talk again until they’re back in his room.

  
  
  


\---

The insurgents have been quiet lately, which would be unsettling but given the last known encounter, Jensen isn’t surprised. They probably want to lay low after what had occurred. There haven’t been sightings of the kid they had been sent to capture, but he’s not holding his breath on that. 

  
  


It gets him thinking of other things. Things he wouldn’t have considered a month ago before being with Jared.  _ What do you want?  _ He’s asked Jensen that twice now. On the same roof and a whisper too close to the warmth of his skin. The second time has him pondering it further. 

  
  


Had Ian Tracey thought about what he wanted before the insurgents killed him? Did Jake Abel ask himself that question before the serum wrecked his body? He doesn’t remember thinking in terms of wanting anything past the life of a gen. It’s not hard to stay complacent in this world; the military wants civilian life to feel unattainable. The Division cuts them off from the real world because, honestly, they’re not supposed to be real people. 

  
  


He thinks of the house he wants to build. Maybe somewhere in the northern states to witness the seasons all year round. Away from the obligations, to never use his powers again in combat. To never use his shielding as a tool. 

  
  


He thinks of Jared. Thinks that maybe he’s snagged on something deep inside him this time. His barrier’s been cracked and it spreads with every touch, laugh, and kiss Jared offers up. To get to keep him there until Jared’s done. That’s how it’ll have to be, he realizes. 

  
  


He thinks of the life he had before the Division. Foster homes and impersonal relationships. The drifting between one place and another. 

  
  


Then Jensen thinks of his contract. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Director Smith calls him into her office via a messenger. A scraggly looking kid that he thinks goes by Chau. The guy looks nervous to deliver the summons but he supposes that’s because he’s new and having to offer a quick salute to leave. Jensen doesn’t think much about it until he’s in front of her office. 

  
  


Smith sits at her desk, looking over a tablet with a vague frown on her features. Through the glass, she doesn’t notice him just yet. It’s odd that she’d call him at this time; it’s nearly seven at night. He nears the door and she glances up, eyes locked right on him. 

  
  


Upon entering, Smith cocks her head. It’s a trait he’s come to know her by; that head tilt that tells him she’s calculating people---or situations. Despite how it’s always unsettled him on some level, he nods respectfully and stands in front of her desk. 

  
  


“Ackles, I have a question for you.”

  
  


“Yes, ma’am?”

  
  


“Did you realize the deadline to renew your contract has passed?”

  
  


“Yes, ma’am.”

  
  


“You don’t plan to sign up for another four years?”

  
  


“No, ma’am.”

  
  


Smith leans back in her chair with a contemplative hum, an index finger tapping her bottom lip a couple times. Her stare remains on him, however and he’s not about to look away. It’d mean he’s shameful of his choice. And he’s not. 

  
  


It had been compulsive, despite the inaction.  _ What do you want? _ Another life, more time. Away from the idea of borrowed time and mourning people who aren’t even recognized as American soldiers.  _ What do you want? _

  
  


“Okay,” Smith says with some strange finality to it. He narrows his eyes. “Good to know.”

  
  


It’s quiet between them then. She’s the one to finally avert her gaze. Eyes settle on the tablet’s screen instead and she makes a single swipe on the surface. 

  
  


“I’m sending you a new mission. Your discharge date isn’t until six months from now, so you have plenty of time to make up for losing the target a month ago.”

  
  


The slight barely registers to him as he checks the faint screen on his small console, located on his left arm. Generally, he wears it on missions only but an oddly timed call to the Director’s office had him believing he and his team were probably going to be sent out on an emergency mission. Full body gear seemed appropriate. 

  
  


The small holoscreen displays a full mission plan. He frowns. Usually, the higher ups give team captains a general objective for a mission. It’s up to the captain to create a plan. It’s how it’s always been. However, this one is different. It’s a complete mission plan, as if he had written it himself. 

  
  


“You’re not on probation or anything, Ackles,” Smith says, probably noting his confusion. “It’s just nothing can go wrong. I’m sending Team 32 the same plan with some adjustments for your backup. Sometimes we do this, just for insurance’s sake.”

  
  


“Yes, ma’am.”

  
  


“Notify your team. You go out in a few hours.”

  
  


“Yes, ma’am.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  


It’s half an hour after he sends the mission details to his team that there’s a knock on his door. He’s still putting the general gear on in his room; the rest will have to wait, since he still has to sign it all out. 

  
  


Of course, he doesn’t quite expect Jared standing in the doorway when he opens it. 

  
  


“I didn’t get the mission plan,” Jared says, as if that explains why he’s there. 

  
  


He frowns slightly before turning away, leaving room for Jared to enter. Going back to prepping, he grabs the boots off the chair to throw them on. It distracts him from the weird expression on Jared’s face. Apprehensive, slight concern. Maybe. 

  
  


“Okay?”

  
  


“I  _ always _ get the mission plan.”

  
  


“Director Smith said it was short notice.”

  
  


“You saw her?”

  
  


There’s an odd amount of offense in the question and it nearly throws him off. “Yeah, she called me in. Are you gonna be ready?”

  
  


Totally disregarding the question, Jared continues. “Why would she call you in? Jensen---”

  
  


“To ask me a question. Does it matter that much?” 

  
  


The interrogation is beginning to make him irritated and he understands exactly where that annoyance is coming from. He doesn’t want to reveal the reason he was called to Director Smith’s office. It’d mean he’d have to have a real conversation about this. 

  
  


_ What do you want? _

  
  


“Jensen,” Jared begins again, getting closer, “Yes, it fucking matters. What did she ask you?”

  
  


“I have to get---”

  
  


“This is  _ important _ , Jensen---why would she---?”

  
  


“I’m getting out!” Jensen shouts and immediately regrets it.

  
  


It’s rather quiet after that. He gets a glimpse of complete shock on Jared’s face before he looks away. The shame comes then; that inevitable feeling of finality. 

  
  


(Comradery will be over. The sense of belonging to a group of people he could relate to. This way of life would cease and he could attempt to be a civilian again. He’d be better. He’d have to be. Away from people and anything else close to what he still has here. It means no more Jared.)

  
  


“Jensen…” 

  
  


“I gotta get going,” he says, tying his laces and grabbing the gear off the desk. 

  
  


“Jensen, you can’t go on this mission.”

  
  


“What?”

  
  


When he looks at Jared, there’s less apprehension and more of a determined look he gets. It confuses him more than before. The instinctual response is to fight back, demand what the fuck is wrong with him. But he’s simply gaping at him now. 

  
  


“You can’t go,” Jared says again and reaches out, fingers grazing over his left shoulder, as if he means to pull him in. “It’s not a good idea.”

  
  


“It’s just a trip to the desert,” his voice is low and it feels like a breath away from being a whisper. “Just some insurgent activity.”

  
  


“Say there’s something wrong with the plans or you’re hurt or---fuck, I don’t know… Just don’t go.”

  
  


It’s like he’s pleading and Jensen’s so thrown off kilter, he’s not sure how to handle it. This whole night has been constant tidal waves of shocks and he’s completely off balance. 

  
  


“Why?”

  
  


“It doesn’t seem right, okay?”

  
  


“ _ Why _ , Jared?”

  
  


There’s a long few beats of silence and Jared’s lips part to say something. He waits. He’ll always wait for this man but nothing comes. Jared’s eyes avert and the chance has been skirted. 

  
  


Jensen grabs the pack from his bed and begins to go, brushing past Jared. “Close the door when you leave.”

  
  
  
  


\---

  
  
  
  


It’s quiet on the ride there. 

  
  


Jensen contributes most of that to the fact that he woke up most of his teammates. All except Penikett, he’s sure, who looks the most alert out of all of them. Hodge and Ramdeen appear as if they’re willing to push him out of the hover jet the first chance they get. Aycox simply has a disgruntled expression, which is to be expected. 

  
  


And of course, he knows Jared’s on the comms, listening from his spot in his little corner of tech operations but he hasn’t said one word. 

  
  


Later, he’d like to dissect exactly what his problem is. Not that he could outright ask Jared anything; as open as Jared Padalecki seems, there’s a lot left unsaid. Jensen rubs his face and sighs. Maybe it’s a good thing he’s getting out of the military. Away from Jared. It’ll probably be good for them both. 

  
  


“So, I don’t mean to question your shit, Captain, but I noticed the plans have you goin’ in alone for the first attack,” Hodge pipes up. 

  
  


Everyone’s eyes turn toward Jensen. He mentally curses. “Yeah. Director Smith wrote them up.”

  
  


“But without canvassing the area?”

  
  


“It’s gonna be a quick job. Don’t worry about it.”

  
  


Hodge narrows his eyes, hunching over in his seat as he stares at Jensen. “You know what this reminds me of, right?”

  
  


“I have you guys coming in right after me. I’m the tank, remember? Nothing hurts me.”

  
  


“Unless you aren’t using your shielding.”

  
  


“Why is everyone so weird about this damn mission?” 

  
  


The outburst catches himself by surprise. But he’s tired of it. No one asks questions when he writes up his own mission details but when it comes from the Director, it’s suddenly a bad idea. This will be one of his last missions and he’d just like for the rest to go smoothly. 

  
  


“We’re not,” Aycox says carefully, “It’s just odd.”

  
  


“Let’s just stay on task, all right?”

  
  


“Sure thing, Captain.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


It’s just an old farm in the middle of nowhere, honestly. 

  
  


The old house has a couple shacks out in the back. Surrounded by nothing but sand and mountains in the distance. He’s not sure how he feels about Arizona right now but it’s probably nothing positive. Even in the middle of October, it’s still warm, which doesn’t do good for his mood. 

  
  


“Ops, do you have any heat signatures or anything for me?”

  
  


There’s nothing on the other end and Jensen is about to have a fit about people giving the silent treatment but it’s averted with a quick,  _ “No.” _

  
  


Glancing back to his teammates, he makes a gesture for them to surround the house as he heads towards it. They scatter around, quietly under the cloudless night sky. He sighs outloud, hoping Jared hears the frustration in it. 

  
  


_ “Maybe you should go in through the back. Find a side door.” _

  
  


Jensen pauses. “That’s not what the plans said.”

  
  


_ “Does it matter that much?” _

  
  


“Are you gonna tell me why I shouldn’t be on this mission?”

  
  


When there’s no response, he just scoffs and heads for the front door. 

  
  


“That’s what I thought.”

  
  


The door creaks open, which is expected but still fucking creepy. Inside is nearly bare, save for a few wrecked pieces of furniture that he can hardly make out in the dark. If there’s no one here, he’ll skip right to the investigative part. Look for shit the insurgents left behind and whatnot. 

  
  


He’s only a few steps inside the abandoned house when he hears a clicking. It’s muffled and sounds oddly familiar. He frowns, pausing. 

  
  


“Ops, could you check for any---”

  
  


_ “Jensen! Pull your shield up now!” _

  
  


He barely has time to do so before there’s a bright flash he’ll later recognize as the explosion from under his feet. The floorboards burst into a million pieces with the force. It has him flying through debris and right out of what’s left of the house. 

  
  


There’s a searing heat, he knows, but barely feels it. And when he hits the ground, bouncing once, maybe twice, he doesn’t feel anything at all. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  


Medical in the Division is beyond most civilian facilities. Not only is the tech more advanced, they have a few healer gens on hand. 

  
  


Something about that sounds unfair to Jensen now; before he hadn’t thought much about it. The rest of the world could benefit from what they have on this base. He used to simply think they got this because they signed up, so there’s some things people deserved more. 

  
  


But now? 

  
  


He’s just tired. 

  
  


Sitting up on the bed, he quietly fights the urge to pick at the bandages around his calves. He got lucky, apparently, since he shielded himself just as the bomb was going off. A millisecond later, he would have been toast. But when he hit the ground, his teammates found him without the shielding and some minor burns on his legs. 

  
  


The others had left not too long ago. He can only assume how bad this looks on paper. Two failed missions in the same year doesn’t scream confidence. But he supposes it’s not the worst thing. He could be still wanting to  _ stay _ in the Division and care about this career. Yet, he’s having a hard time wondering how Director Smith feels about all this. 

  
  


The door to the medical room opens then. He barely has time to look up from his screen before someone is there at his bedside and aiming a fist right at his shoulder. Jensen attempts to dodge with little room he has and grunts when the punch gets him anyway. Glancing up with clear betrayal, he holds his shoulder. 

  
  


Jared. It’s Jared who burst into his room and punched him for no damn reason. 

  
  


“What the hell?!”

  
  


Jensen blinks. “I could be asking you the same thing. What gives?”

  
  


Jared looks rather furious and he admits that it seems intimidating but he knows him better than that now. If anything, he’ll receive another hit to the arm, which is still throbbing, unfortunately. 

  
  


“I told you,” Jared murmurs, suddenly looking defeated and it makes his head spin. “I told you not to go on the mission.”

  
  


“Like you knew there was a bomb,” he sighs out and lays his head down on the itchy pillow, “What? You psychic all of a sudden?”

  
  


“Jensen, this is serious.”

  
  


“Why?” he demands, sitting up and narrowing his eyes at Jared. “I’m getting  _ out _ . You asked me what I wanted and this is it. I want to get away from this damn place. I want a house with a fucking deck. So why is it such a big deal what missions I go on now?”

  
  


Jared sucks in a breath, looks upwards and shakes his head, as if he’s exasperated. He thinks he should be the one done with this whole ordeal. He’s only  _ fun _ for Jared---why the fuck does it matter what he does? 

  
  


Slowly, Jared bends down then, takes his face is either hand and brings their faces close. It’s the most affectionate thing he’s felt for a long time. His heart skitters within his chest, its rhythm lost. Jared rests his forehead against his and closes his eyes, breathing in deeply before speaking. 

  
  


“I just fucking care, okay?”

  
  


And then he disengages, just as Jensen’s fingers twitch to hold his face there. But the moment’s lost upon him and Jared’s walking out the door. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


He’s put on light duty for two days. Within that time, he trains with what he can and watches his teammates spar. It’s not much different but it’s notably more boring than he initially expected. Especially since he hasn’t anything else beyond paperwork, eating and sleeping. 

  
  


And he hasn’t seen Jared once. 

  
  


He figures if Jared wants to see him, he’ll make the effort. But Jensen may be feeling spiteful, drawn out by his confusion over the whole ordeal. Whether Jared had been mad about him leaving the Division or going on the mission in general, he doesn’t know. And, at this point, he doesn’t care for it. He feels like a ragdoll, being thrown in a space in between what’s real and fantasy. 

  
  


It’s possibly just all in his head, though. Jared could finally be bored of him and maybe that’s his worst fear. Maybe part of him didn’t sign up for another four years because he’d rather leave Jared behind than have him drift away out of disinterest. 

  
  


What a travesty that would have been. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


They get a mission after a week from the incident in the desert. 

  
  


It’s the kid. The blond, scrappy looking boy looks obviously past him in the photo in the report. It’s grainy and blurred but it’s him. The target they had failed to secure before. Jensen recalls a scared kid, holding a switch for a bomb and closes his eyes. 

  
  


The details to the mission is only a simple outline this time, which means he gets to fill in the blanks. At least he can call the shots this time. He begins typing out some information for his teammates and then his eyes snag on the name for the tech operations lead. 

  
  


Rachel Minor. Not Jared Padalecki. 

  
  


He frowns. What the hell? 

  
  


Generally, he’d assume Jared’s working with another team for whatever reason. Minor is his stand-in after all. But the past few days have given him an idea that Jared wants nothing to do with him. And while he feels in the dark about it, he doesn’t understand why that would keep Jared from doing his damn job. 

  
  


Before he can fully register what he’s doing, he’s standing in front of the glass doors of tech operations. His eyes scan the room for a long haired brunette, feeling both anxiousness and some anger well up in his gut. 

  
  


Is it because of him? Did Jared feel like he needed to alienate himself from him that much? What exactly had he done wrong? 

  
  


Jensen’s head is nearing the dizzy mark when he spies Minor approaching the doors. He backs up, holding his breath as she emerges from the huge room. She’s focused on him and he can’t bring himself to say anything about it. 

  
  


“He’s not here,” Minor says and he swears there’s a hint of sympathy there, which he sorta despises. “He’s been assigned to another team.”

  
  


He simply nods.  _ Because of me. _

  
  


“It’s more complicated but I think it’d be best if you let him explain it. After the mission. Which starts in---” Minor checks the tablet in her hand, “---two hours.”

  
  


“Right.”

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


For whatever reason, the universe seems to want to give him something back because the mission is strangely easy. 

  
  


The kid had been with only one other person this time. He had Ramdeen shadow him for a few blocks as they got in position for the extraction. When it came down to it, Penikett and Hodge pulled the kid and other insurgent into an alleyway while Aycox administered the sedative as quickly as she could.

  
  


It worked out in their favor. 

  
  


Now the target had been taken away to wherever and the insurgent had been placed in Interrogation. Typically, his job would be done but he did have speak with Sterling Brown, the head on the Interrogation unit, to get the name of the person with the target. 

  
  


The kid’s name is Alex Calvert. Not much can be found on him. Apparently, he’s not even registered as a U.S. citizen; completely off the map in every way. Nineteen years old and caught up in some terrorist group. 

  
  


_ Why won’t you guys leave us alone! _

  
  


Jensen thins his lips as he heads down to Interrogation, straightening his shoulders and readying himself to speak with Brown. Before he can get to the offices, however, he spies the blinking light at the top of the doorframe of one of the rooms. It means there’s an ongoing interrogation happening now. 

  
  


Curiosity overtaking him, he enters the observation room. Surprisingly, no one is there but on the other side of the glass, he spies Brown, another member of Interrogations and the insurgent. 

  
  


The insurgent is a young woman. Long blonde hair and clad in only sweatpants and a tank top. Her wrists are bound in heavy duty cuffs and she sits behind the metal table. Brown hovers over her while the other gen in the room stands in the corner. Every few seconds, Brown’s eyes flicker to the man with some wariness, which throws Jensen off a bit. 

  
  


Leaning over, Jensen presses the button for audio and listens. 

  
  


“Where is your base of operations?” Brown asks, stoically. 

  
  


The woman glances up with a dazed look. At first, he thinks it may be the effects of the sedative his team gave her but then he recalls Brown’s abilities; the power of persuasion. It’s something useful for his line of work and it can get enough information out. It’s tricky, though, because sometimes that information can be false. 

  
  


“What is your name?”

  
  


“Adrianne…” she murmurs, keeping glazed eyes on Brown. 

  
  


Jensen frowns with some confusion. It’s as if she doesn’t notice the other gen in the room. 

  
  


“Adrianne,” Brown starts carefully and sits on the table, “We need to know your base of operations.”

  
  


“Safe,” Adrianne slurs, lolling her head to the side and then smiles, “Everyone else...they’re safe.”

  
  


“Her last name,” the other gen mentions, crossing his arms. 

  
  


“Okay,” Brown nods and breathes in. “What’s your last name?”

  
  


“Palecki,” and then she’s giggling and shakes her head, “Padalecki hates that.”

  
  


Jensen’s heart stops. 

  
  


He hardly hears anything else but the other gen is asking Brown to prod her for other information, obviously missing the last thing she had said. Something about Alex Calvert but all he can hear is  _ Padalecki _ . 

  
  


He can’t breathe and part of him feels paralyzed. No. Just no way this insurgent knows Jared. Maybe it’s another Padalecki. Maybe he heard wrong. He just---

  
  


Jensen swallows and forces himself to listen to the rest. 

  
  


“Why were you protecting Alex Calvert?”

  
  


“He’s too powerful,” she mumbles and waves her cuffed hands, “You all wanted him for it. We tried. I tried. But it’s okay because the rest of them are safe.”

  
  


He’ll read the transcript later. Jensen can’t help himself anymore. He’s out the door and headed straight out. 

  
  
  


\---

He doesn’t remember much beyond some faceless cadets saluting and some doors he had to open on his way to the barracks. Jared’s barracks. He doesn’t register he’s banging on the door until it swings wide open. 

  
  


Jared’s staring at him, shock over his features. Jensen takes him by the arm and is pushing them both inside the room before anything can be said. After he slams the door shut, and releases Jared, he pins him with a look. 

  
  


“Jensen—-what the  _ hell _ . You can’t just come in and—-”

  
  


“Adraianne Palecki.”

  
  


Jared quiets, takes one step back. 

  
  


Jensen’s heart sinks. “Shit.”

  
  


“It’s not—-”   
  


“Are you with the insurgents?”

  
  


Jared’s only staring at him with widened eyes now, as if too shell shocked to say anything. Not even to defend himself. 

  
  


If he’s going to connect the dots now, he gets it. All that talk about what he wants after this is all over. How missions go ary when Jared’s involved. Why Alex got away that first time with the so-called undetected bomb. 

  
  


Why it was too perfect to be true. 

  
  


Jensen’s chest tightens as he thinks about the mission not too long ago. Fuck. 

  
  


“Did...did—-you know that the insurgents left a bomb for me there?”

  
  


“Jensen—-no! That wasn’t us! Please, you have to listen—-”

  
  


“Fuck,” he murmurs, running a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Fuck, fuck—-”

  
  


“No, please,” Jared moves, taking Jensen’s wrists in his hands but Jensen’s faster. 

  
  


“Don’t—-touch me!”

  
  


Jared backs away, nearly stumbling until he reaches the bed and sits down. Jensen can only stare, just as surprised at his yelling. He breathes in sharply, heart beating wildly. 

  
  


Fuck.

  
  


He never knew Jared Padalecki. Five years of yearning and he had never known this man at all.  _ What you do you want? _ Jensen closes his eyes and wishes to fast forward this whole damn mess. 

  
  


He can’t feel any anger. There’s a strong sense of betryal but nothing more. He should have seen it. There had been signs. He just had been so wrapped up in infatuation. Longing for something he never had in the first place. 

  
  


“You’re a spy.”

  
  


“I’m a Breaker.”

  
  


“Whatever you call yourself, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re killing—-”

  
  


“We’ve never killed anyone, Jensen, please…” Jared’s face falls in his hands and murmurs, “Just listen.”

  
  


Jensen breathes out, considers him. He’ll have to report Jared, which makes this worse than anything. He’s so damn tired of it all. He just wanted out of this. 

  
  


Slumping against the wall and resting his arms on his knees, Jensen sighs. “It’ll all go in the report.”

  
  


If Jared cared to respond to that, he doesn’t allow him to see it. “I’m part of a group called the Breakers. Some of us are gens, some are humans who know what’s been going on. Scientists who worked on the serum in the early days, civilian contractors who learned the truth or just normal people. They help us get out. Alive.”

  
  


Jensen doesn’t say anything. Instead, he closes his eyes. 

  
  


“The first generation of gens… The Division realized that eventually they’d want to retire. And since we don’t officially exist to the world, they had to figure out a way to exterminate us. Create situation where we’d die before our contracts are up or we got too old.”

  
  


He thinks of Tracey, thinks of Morgan, thinks of all the people who have perished before him. If insurgents hadn't gotten to them, the serum did. The roster keeps dwindling, despite new recruits coming in or not. Everyone that came before Jensen has bit the dust. 

  
  


“There were these two gens. They had a kid---” Jared stops for a moment when Jensen snaps his gaze to him questioningly. Gens can’t have children. He knows this. Everyone knows this. 

  
  


“The serum---”

  
  


“They altered it when gens started having children together,” Jared supplies. 

  
  


Jensen takes the information and stores it somewhere in his brain. Everything out of Jared’s mouth could be a lie but---

  
  


“This kid is now nineteen. His parents had been murdered but someone was able to keep him safe until recently.”

  
  


_ Someone. _

  
  


With narrowed eyes, Jensen again recalls the first night. That spark of energy he felt when Jared spoke over the comms, that rush he felt jumping off the building and through the window and then that awful fear when he saw Alex standing there with a switch. 

  
  


It dawns upon him then. 

  
  


“The kid’s a born gen. There was no bomb...” he murmurs. 

  
  


Jared nods and he can only look at him while his body goes numb, still slumped against the wall. 

  
  


“The explostion was him, wasn’t it? That’s his ability.”

  
  


“He’s more powerful than you can imagine. He could bring this whole place down.”

  
  


“And you’ve been protecting him?”

  
  


Even if Jared’s still a spy, it all makes sense now. Why the explosion was delayed and why it only seemed to go off as soon as he got his people out. It had been the kid; he was waiting for them to get out. As if he didn’t want anyone hurt. Not really. 

  
  


“We all have been protecting him---and each other.”

  
  


He scoffs. “From what? The Division that just so happens to be killing us?”

  
  


“Jensen,  _ listen to me _ ,” Jared hisses, leaning in but thankfully still not in his space, “Why do you think I told you not to go on that mission? As soon as you missed your deadline to renew your contract, you were put on the extermination list.”

  
  


“And you know this how?”

  
  


“We have insiders everywhere. Sometimes we’re able to smuggle some gens away to safety and that’s how we become Breakers---or insurgents, as the Division has named us.”

  
  


“How did they recruit you then?”

  
  


Jared offers a lopsided smile but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “My sister. We got recruited together. She heard the wrong conversation and then I never got to see her again. I was causing a ruckus about it until someone stepped in to keep me under the radar.”

  
  


“Who?”

  
  


And that’s when Jared finally falls quiet. Jensen rolls his eyes and sighs out, runs a hand through his hair with frustration. 

  
  


He’s so fucking tired of all of it.

  
  


But he hates how it lines up with everything. 

  
  


The Division had always recruited people from low-income and obscure backgrounds. People who wouldn’t necessarily be missed in the public eye if anything were to happen. The first generation of gens are nearly all gone and if there are any left, Jensen hasn’t seen them around. 

  
  


They get buried like civilians. Unmourned and forgotten. Not even a funeral or an American flag sent to someone’s doorstep. It’s...it’s not right. 

  
  


And then there’s Jared, who has fooled Jensen. Broke past that hard shell of his and somehow pulled the blind over his eyes. He should have known; the first time he wants to pursue anything with someone and they turn out to be a spy. 

  
  


His voice feels cracked when he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  
  


There’s more silence for a few more heartbeats until, “I tried, Jensen.”

  
  


Jared’s on the floor then, getting closer to where Jensen is. He watches, warily, feels his chest tighten when he realizes he yearns for that familiar touch. 

  
  


“I wanted to. I almost did. That first night up on the roof.”

  
  


_ What do you want? _

  
  


Jensen hums, closes his eyes again and leans his head against the wall as he recalls, “Do you wanna run away and join the circus?”

  
  


“Yeah,” Jared chuckles, but it sounds sadder than it should, “That’s what I said.”

  
  


“Okay.”

  
  


“Okay?”

  
  


Jensen opens his eyes again, stares at this man he’s so wildly infatuation with and says, “I wanna run away.”

  
  


Jared doesn’t get the chance to react because alarms are suddenly blaring and echoing throughout the entire base. The sound raises his hackles immediately and he’s standing up and readying to run out the door. 

  
  


A loud, thunderous  _ boom _ sounds and then it feels as if the building they’re standing in is shaking. Jensen grabs onto Jared as he throws the door open and begins to dash outside. 

  
  


“Jensen---”

  
  


“What the fuck was that?” 

  
  


They make it outside to the courtyard in front of barracks, just in time to see the east wing of the main building’s windows shatter as flames erupt through them. Others have already begun to rush to help in anyway possible as Jensen and Jared stand there. 

  
  


However, when he turns to Jared, there’s not shock on his face. It’s simply apprehension. “What’s happening, Jared?”

  
  


“It’s Alex---he’s trying to get out. They couldn’t keep him subdued for too long. We knew this would happen.”

  
  


“We need to get everyone out of here,” he says, “We need to evacuate.”

  
  


“Our people are already gonna do that,” Jared says as he begins towards the burning building, “I need to get Alex.”

  
  


“Shit,” Jensen hisses as he follows. 

  
  


\---

  
  
  


Heading towards the burning building had been crazy enough but when Jensen’s actually inside it, he realizes that maybe he may need a psych eval after this is all through. For what it’s worth, he thinks maybe Jared knows what he’s doing. 

  
  


With everything that’s happened today, he’s not surprised he’s sticking around Jared. If he’s with him to help or just to witness, he’s not sure. All he knows is that letting Jared go might be harder than committing actual treason against his own country. And, yeah, he’s losing his mind. 

  
  


Jared leads him through the halls and towards the captive cells, where they temporarily hold prisoners and the like. He knows that’s where the source of the explosion came from and pities whoever had been close enough to provoke Alex into triggering his ability. 

  
  


“Why not just smuggle Alex out in the first place?”

  
  


Jared throws him a questioningly glance over his shoulder. “We didn’t want to risk it. We figured we could do it later. The congressman and Waterway wanted him for their own purposes. Like a hellhound. He’s basically a walking bomb and they wanted to control it.”

  
  


The smoke begins to sting his eyes until he throws up his shielding and, after a moment of consideration, surrounds Jared with it as well. Jared gives him a grateful look before leading them once again. 

  
  


As they round a couple corners of the building, Jensen attempts to process everything thrown at him in the last hour. Alex is a product of two gens, which means the Division had begun tweaking the serum around the time Jensen joined. They grab kids off the street that won’t be missed; he grew a foster kid, jumping from home to home. And then there’s the fact that the insurgents aren’t actually who he thought they were. 

  
  


Insurgents call themselves Breakers, a mix of gens and humans. He has so many questions, like who started the group? Why didn’t they save all his other friends? Why had Jared been the only one to intervene when they put a target on his back?

  
  


_ Jared _ . 

  
  


“You’ve been missing for a bit,” Jensen murmurs, just loud enough above the alarms. 

  
  


“Yeah,” Jared breathes out, not meeting his eyes, “I was told I had to lay low after the transcripts from your mission went up the chain. They’d wonder why I didn’t want you goin’ into the house.”

  
  


“You knew it was rigged?”

  
  


“I figured, since the entire mission had been written by Director Smith.”

  
  


Jensen nods to himself with a slight frown. He’ll save the rest of his questions later. If they make it out. He sighs out to simply calm some of his nerves. It’s too much to think about now. And, well, he wanted to get out anyway, right? Whatever Jared’s involved in, he figures this might be his best shot. And why not spend whatever time he’s got left with Jared?

  
  


The smoke begins getting thicker, raising to the ceiling in plumes and obscuring their vision. When they finally get to the corridor with the cells, he can hardly make out a figure kicking at a door. It takes a moment but he realizes it’s Sterling Brown, coughing and attempting to shoulder at the door. He glances towards them with some shock but then his eyes fall on Jensen. 

  
  


“Does he---?”

  
  


Jared nods, “He knows everything. What’s happening?”

  
  


“Adrainne is stuck in there---can’t get her out.”

  
  


It doesn’t take long for Jensen to connect the dots. Brown is part of Jared’s group. The insurgents---the Breakers. He blinks, letting that one sink in before he clears his throat and drops his shielding. Almost immediately the heat is ever present and the smoke stings his eyes. Holding his breath, he pushes his shielding towards the door, effectively crumbling it enough for Brown to knock it off the hinges. 

  
  


Throwing the shielding up again for all three of them, they enter the cell to find the blonde his team had captured just under twenty four hours ago. Huddled and coughing in the corner, she raises her gaze and instantly gets up to meet them. 

  
  


“Sterling! Jared!” Then her eyes snag on Jensen. “Um?”

  
  


“No time, we need to find Alex,” Jared informs her as Jensen extends his shielding to Adrainne too. “Sterling, where do we go?”

  
  


“Just further down the hall but---”

  
  


Another blast cuts him off. It shakes the entire building and Jensen has to grab onto Jared to keep steady. 

  
  


“Shit,” Jared mutters, “That means they’re trying to sedate him. Do we know where Lisa is?”

  
  


“Lisa?” Jensen questions.

  
  


“No,” Brown answers, as if Jensen hadn’t said anything, “But Rachel got us a vehicle, one way ticket to Circus.”

  
  


“Circus?”

  
  


“We have to find Lisa---she can calm Alex down. We need an extraction for all our people,” Jared directs. 

  
  


Jensen takes a moment as Jared leads them out into the hallway, desperately trying to keep up with the conversation. Rachel---Minor? And is Lisa another human from the outside? Again, he tries to keep his questions for another time but he’s starting to think maybe they’ve run out of it. 

  
  


His fears are confronted when they round another corner and there stands Director Smith with unfamiliar faces backing her up. About six other men, armed and geared up. Jensen recognizes them from Waterway---the organization Collin’s in charge of. Alarm flashes through him as he realizes that what Jared had said was right. They’re here for Alex and Director Smith has been working with them all this time. 

  
  


“Padalecki,” Smith says calmly, “Ackles. Brown. What do you think you’re doing?”

  
  


By default, none of them have weapons on them. They always have to log them in and out. The only thing protecting all four of them is Jensen’s sheilding and while he’d like to keep it that way, he can’t keep the sheild up if any of them want to engage in combat. Which leaves them at a great disadvantage. 

  
  


“You’re done. Tonight, this whole organization will be known to the world and what you’ve done,” Jared tells her. 

  
  


Smith hardly seems moved. “It’s unfortunate. Ackles, you had such a promising future here. You could have been Director one day.”

  
  


“Somethin’ tells me I wouldn’t have made it,” Jensen says, narrowing his eyes. “I know what happened in Arizona. You tried having me killed.”

  
  


Smith gives a small scoff. “Do you understand what it’s like running this Division? The world cannot know you exist. Hell, only three members of congress know any of you have abilities. Gens can’t be integrated into society---it’ll fundamentally change everything. And not for the better.”

  
  


“We just wanna be able to live,” Jared counters, stepping forward, which prompts the Waterway men to raise their weapons. 

  
  


“You’re the ones who decided to pick up eighteen year olds off the street, inject them with the serum. We never got a choice,” Brown says. 

  
  


Smith turns back to Jensen. “You sure you want this life, Ackles? Always on the run from us? We’ve been picking them off. They’re  _ losing _ . We have their best card.”

  
  


“Not for long,” Jared growls. 

  
  


A grunt and  _ thump _ distract them. Jensen snaps his attention to the back of the group, as one Waterway guard hits the floor by an unknown assailant. Before any of the others can react, he drops the sheild and pushes it towards a couple others, knocking them into the wall and they slump to the floor. 

  
  


He looks up just in time to see Aldis Hodge shooting another Waterway guard in the shoulder and then using the butt of the gun to hit him over the head. Jensen blinks and then laughs at the absurdity of it all. 

  
  


“Just in time,” he breathes out. 

  
  


Hodge grins, “Came lookin’ for you when I didn’t see ya out front. Figured you’d be where the action is. Brought the rest of the gang.”

  
  


It’s then he spies another guard get taken down by Ramdeen and Penikett elbow another in the face. Aycox approaches them, a rifle in hand, which he assumes she pulled off one of the men. Relief washes over him. They’re all okay. Maybe this will turn out all right. 

  
  


He turns around only to see Director Smith pointing a gun at Jared’s head. Jensen nearly loses his wits right there. His heart stops. 

  
  


“Stop it right there!” Smith yells, then in a lower tone, “There will be more men coming. And we will  _ always _ come for you.”

  
  


Jensen takes a step forward. 

  
  


“I will shoot him,  _ Ackles _ ! Don’t come any closer.”

  
  


He faulters, raising his hands. “Okay. Okay, let’s just---”

  
  


“No. You all are going to drop your weapons and let me leave.”

  
  


Jensen glances around. Both Brown and Adrainne are looking at him with some panic. His team is waiting on his move, he knows. They’ll follow him, whatever he does. He breathes out. 

  
  


“Fine.”

  
  


“Jensen, no! Go get Alex---!” Jared’s protests are sharply cut off by a loud gunshot and he crumples to the floor, holding his right thigh. Smith shot him in the leg. 

  
  


Jensen sees red. 

  
  


He advances on Smith and she directs another shot at him but it ricochets off his shielding. She backs away and points at Jared again and that nearly throws him into a rage. 

  
  


Before anyone else can do anything, another gunshot rings out and a bullet hits Director Smith in the shoulder. The force throws her to the floor. Jensen hardly cares about where it had come from or why but he’s beside Jared the next moment. 

  
  


Jared’s giving him one of those pained smiles, muttering about how he’s going to be okay. But it’s not really. 

  
  


While it had been a warning shot, Jared’s still hurt. It’s a through and through wound, which means they’ll have to wrap it completely up until they get better medical aid. Aycox is already there, attempting to use some of her gear to stop the bleeding. They’re trained to use it in situations like this but Jensen’s worried it may not be enough. 

  
  


He finally looks up then. There stands Assistant Director Lisa Berry, handgun trained on Smith and Alex just a step behind her. The kid looks worse for wear, dressed in the gray uniform for prisoners and his eyes darting between all their faces. 

  
  


A hand falls on his shoulder and he turns back to Jared. “She’s the one who started all this,” he supplies. “Took Alex to safety when he was born and created the Breakers. Been trying to save every gen possible.”

  
  


“We didn’t know if we could trust you, Ackles,” Berry says, not bothering to look at anyone but Smith, gun still on her. “But I guess I should have believed Jared.”

  
  


While he couldn’t care any less right now about any of it, he makes a mental note to go back through his memories and try to make sense of this entire conspiracy. He helps Jared up and slings an arm around his shoulder as Hodge supports him from the other side, now leaning on both men to stand. 

  
  


“So you didn’t know about the Breakers or any of this?” Jensen asks him. 

  
  


Hodge simply shrugs. “After my former captain died, I figured something was up. I always knew the Division had something to do with gens dying but...well…”

  
  


“You didn’t know what to do about it.”

  
  


“Just how life goes, I guess. Glad there were people doin’ somethin’ though,” Hodge adds. “Guess we’re joining a revolution.”

  
  


“Y’know, I’m glad we’re all doing okay but Smith  _ did _ mention others are coming,” Aycox interrupts, “So do we have a way outta here or do we have to steal some hovercrafts?”

  
  


“Minor has a vehicle waiting for us,” Brown says, “Headed straight for Circus.”

  
  


Jensen, again, looks at Jared with some question. Jared simply offers a half-smile and explains, “Codename for the annexed land. We’ll be safe there.”

  
  


“Get there. ASAP,” Berry directs. “Alex, by me.”

  
  


Alex nods and sticks close to who Jensen assumes is the closest thing to a guardian the kid’s ever known. He attempts to throw up a sheild for all of them to keep from inhaling all the smoke until they get outside. 

  
  


They pass by Smith, who glares at them venomently, holding her shoulder as they keep moving. “We’ll come for you. You know that, right?”

  
  


“Then come for us,” Berry answers. 

  
  


When they get outside, Alex has them stop for a moment. They turn to the building they’d just exited and he closes his eyes then breathes out. Almost instantly, another boom resounds and the front of the building is nearly blown out. If not for Jensen’s shielding, they would have gotten hit by debris. 

  
  


Jared lets out a whoop, which is followed by other cheers in the group. Jensen just chuckles as they make their way to where Minor is. 

  
  
  


\---

  
  


It’s high noon and the middle of next fall when Jensen completes the house. 

  
  


Not exactly how he imagined it. There’s a large front deck but not one in the back yet; there’s two stories but no terrace. Eventually, he’ll add on to it, he knows. But for now, it’s what he’s fine with. Some help from his former teammates and some contractors willing to step foot in Meadowscall and he got it done. 

  
  


Now he sits upon the steps leading up to the front door, an unopened beer next to him. A small celebration. It’s not much, given what’s occurred in the past year, though he’ll take what he can get now. 

  
  


Past the way, there’s a few more houses in construction still. People he knows from the Division and some he’s come to know recently as allies. Eventually, it’ll be a neighborhood. Full of life and hopefully enough boredom to go around. God knows he chases the mundane now. 

  
  


Down the dirt road, someone is walking his way. It doesn’t take long for him to recongize the familiar giant. Jensen folds his lips to keep from grinning, instead opens the beer and takes a pull. Jared. Back from a trip from the capitol, no doubt. 

  
  


Jared’s become one of the faces of the entire fiasco. Court hearings and trials. The idea of some genetically modified humans making their own tiny country boggles the minds of the U.S. Understandably. He’s just glad former Assistant Director Lisa Berry has enough stamina to keep up the fight. So far, the general public is leaning towards their side. Congress has been in a frenzy; not many knew of the gens’ existence and when finally discovered, everything had been thrown into several hearings to discuss wrongdoing. 

  
  


Waterway had been dismantled almost immediately and the very few congresspeople who knew about the program had been forced to retire and put through their own special trials. Former Director Smith has been charged, as well. A clusterfuck of shit Jensen doesn’t care much about. If he’ll be honest, he shows interest in only Jared’s testimonies. 

  
  


“You’re back in town,” he says when Jared finally stops in front of the house. 

  
  


There’s that easy-going grin that he quietly adores. Jared nods behind Jensen. “You got it done. It looks good.”

  
  


A shrug. “It’ll have to do for now.”

  
  


“A modest statement,” Jared counters with a smirk. “I’m in town for awhile now.”

  
  


It’s been a strange tug and pull between them. This year has placed their odd relationship into an inbetween of sorts. Sometimes, he’s uncertain if he should even pursue anything. Much like before, he doesn’t know what Jared wants and sometimes it drives him crazy. 

  
  


But that smile gets him every time. 

  
  


“Is that right?”

  
  


“You gonna be lonely in that big house of yours?”

  
  


Jensen’s eyes flick over Jared’s face as he considers the statement. An inquiry that means something entirely different than what it sounds. He takes a deep breath and decides  _ fuck it _ . 

  
  


“It might got room for a boyfriend.”

  
  


There’s a heartbeat of silence between them before Jared’s smile grows into a grin. Bending down, Jared kisses him and it’s the best thing that’s happened all damn year. 

  
  


When he pulls back, Jared murmurs quietly, “I hope the boyfriend can get a dog too.”

  
  


Jensen laughs, jerks Jared’s arm to sit next to him on the steps and kisses him again. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Title pulled from "here is little Effie's head" by E. E. Cummings.


End file.
